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Karen Jokes

Karen goes to the psychic...

"Two men, Bob and Carl, both want to marry me. Who will be the lucky one?"

"You will marry Bob. Carl will be the lucky one."

A Jew, an Hindu and Karen survive a plane crash in the woods

They walk together trough the woods throughout the day and into the night looking for help.

At last, they find a little wooden house with a lit window and a barn next to it.

The Jewish man says:

"Finally, someone who can help us! Let's ask the owner if we can stay the night and ...

Two Karens are having lunch together

The waiter stops by and asks "Is anything okay?"

A group of crows is called a murder. What do you call a group of Karens??

A migraine.

an extrovert, an alcoholic and a karen were reluctant to take the covid vaccine

an extrovert, an alcoholic and a karen were reluctant to take the covid vaccine. the doctor tries to persuade them

the extrovert denies

" you won't be able to go to public gatherings anymore"

the extrovert agrees to take it



the alcoholic denies

"you will ha...

What’s the male version of a Karen called?

I don’t know but a group of them is called a Senate.

Karen's 911 call

Karen was cleaning Kyle's rifle and shot him by accident. She calls 911.

"It's my husband," said Karen. "I've accidentally shot him... I've killed him," she sobbed.

"Please calm down, ma'am," the 911 operator tried to sooth her. "Can you please make sure he's actually dead?"
...

What kind of clothing do Karens wear?

A lawsuit.

How many Karen's does it take to hang a picture.

1, if she talks for long enough the picture will hang itself.

Karen came into my restaurant the other day and asked, "Can you tell me about the menu please?"

So I kicked her out and told her that the men I please are none of her business!!

How many Karens does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, She just stands there holding it while the world revolves around her.

A group of dogs is a pack. A group of crows is a murder. What is a group of Karen's?

A Home Owners Association.

Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?

Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!

How many Karen's does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness

Son: Dad, what's the opposite of Karen?

Dad: Umm, I don't know, Sharon...?

Son: But I thought Sharon was Karen.




Edit: Thank you u/Ri0tp0p0 and u/CulturedCroissant for the awards! :)

Karen

Police arrested two Karens yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other off.

All groups of animals have unique names: a gaggle of geese, a pod of whales, a colony of ants… so what do you call a group of Karens?

An HOA

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well. Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately. .

Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news.

Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense. I believe in homeopathic medicine, faith-based approaches and healing crystals. All my life, they have never failed me. Now will you do things my way or do I need to see the ma...

What do you call a bunch of Karen's up a tree?

A Country.

Handling a Karen is like handling a crocodile.

They're only dangerous if you let them open their mouths.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do retail workers call rude and snotty customers “Karen”?

Because they would lose their job if they called them a “Cunt”.

I came up with this in math class

This guy goes to interview for a job. He’s really nervous about it, because this job is a super big opportunity for him. He goes in, and the interviewer introduces herself, saying “Hi, my name is Karen”. They immediately start talking about the job, and the guy is answering all of Karen’s questions ...

what's the difference between a Karen and a canoe?

A canoe will sometimes tip.

What is Karen's favorite drink?

White whine

What is a Karen called in Europe?

An American

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think we should stop turning normal names like "Karen" into slurs

It's a real Dick move.

Why did Karen press Ctrl+Alt+Delete?

She wanted to see the task manager

A server walks up to a table of Karens and asks...

Good evening ladies. Is anything alright tonight?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between COVID and Karen?

One's a contagion, the other's an aging cunt.

What is a Karen’s favorite film?

Minority Report

Today at work, some Karen told me she didn't appreciate me being so condescending towards her.

That means I talk down to people.

How does Karen change a light bulb?

She puts it in and waits for the world to revolve around her

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People need to stop calling me "Karen" It's so offensive.

Me: That's fine we'll go back to what we used to call you.

Karen: Thanks....

Me: You're welcome, Miserable fucking Bitch.

Golfing

Karen loved the golf game but was not very good at it.

She was out on the links one day, playing with her husband John.

As usual, every time she swung at the ball, she made the earth beneath it fly every which way!

“My goodness, John,” she said, blushing at her ineptitude...

Karen comes home from work.

Karen: I left my job today, I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me.

Husband: So what did he say.?

Karen: "Karen, you are fired."

Karen went to Bethlehem

She demanded to see the manger.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cancer!

Karen: Doctor, I've not been feeling well lately

Doctor: Well, I've looked at your lab reports and I'm afraid I have some bad news...

Karen: Don't give me this lab nonsense, you bureaucratic paper pusher! I don't believe Western medicine anyways! I've been following homeopathic medicin...

What do you call an unruly, unreasonable passenger at Las Vegas International Airport?

A McKaren.

English grammar

The plural of Karen is HOA.

A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories.

In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example first, "My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we were taking lots of eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump in the road; the basket fell off the seat and all the eggs broke. The moral of the stor...

What do they call 'Karens' in Europe?

Americans.

A study by the Bureau of Consumer Protection has determined that the most common first name on consumer complaints is actually "Sharon."

My kindergarten teacher was right. Sharon is Karen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist told me to give my anxiety a name.

I named her Karen because she ain't Karen how she fucked up my day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karen is at the zoo

One day while at the zoo with her son, Karen passes by the chimpanzee exhibit. They are very rowdy & when Karen had her back turned, one threw feces right at her head. Upset, Karen stormed to the nearby animal caretaker.

‘Sir! These disgusting apes are very rude! Did you just see what the...

Karen

My mum usually complains about everything but lately she's gotten bored of it. I guess you could say that she's past the point of Karen.

My friend, Karen, and I visited a place you can stand in three states at once: Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri. Karen opened up that she was actually in a fourth state: crippling depression. I said, "I'm so sorry"

"...but you can't count Missouri twice."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently got headphones to help me drown out the voices of other people.

It helps me concentrate when I'm trying to masturbate.

I mean, it's just so noisy on the bus.

People yell at me all the time, with stuff like "You have to be more responsible, you're the bus driver!"

Like c'mon Karen, really? You just sit at home all day, while I get your kids o...

Why do white women like trading stories about asking for the manager?

Because Sharon is Karen.

Karen

Karen was bragging to her manager one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”

Tired of her boasting, her manager called her bluff, “OK, Karen, how about Reese Witherspoon?”

“No dramas boss, Reese and I are old friends, and I can pr...

What does a karen do when they get mad at a computer?

They demand to see the task-manager!

What did the waiter say to the table full of Karens?

Is anything all right?

In France, we have Karens too

They are called "American tourists".

Little Johnny brought home his history test result, it was 90.

His father was so happy with it. However, his mother, Karen, just couldn't believe her son got 90 in history.

After taking a closer look at the marks, she found that the handwriting style of the 9 and the 0 are different.

"Johnny, you are so busted. Tell me, did you add the 0 to yo...

What do you call a group of Karen's and Kevin's?

An HOA board

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men are standing outside a jewellery shop looking at an expensive ring in the display window

The first man says, "That ring is perfect for Karen. I just wish I could afford it."

The second man says, "I was planning on proposing to Julie soon. She'd love that ring."

The third man says, "Okay, I'll make you both a deal. Whichever one of you gets to the bottom of the street first...

You should never play with ouija

Tom is telling his friends not to play with ouija.

"You should never ever play with ouija, it is really horrible..."

His friends are getting nervous. Tom continued,

"Last week, Karen asked ouija a question, and now she is still in that room."

"She asked ouija, '*w...

How do you break the infinite hotel paradox

You bring a Karen who refuses to leave the room

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Of course trump will challenge the results. He will not take no for an answer.

Just ask Ivana trump, Jill hearth, Jean carrol, summer zervos, alva Johnson, Jessica leeds, Kristen Anderson, Lisa boyne, Cathy heller, temple McDowell, Amy dorris, Karena Virginia, karen Johnson, mindy mcgillivary, Jennifer Murphy, Rachael crooks, Natasha stoynoff, juillet huddy, Jessica drake, nin...

Why wife just had her myheritage DNA test back

Turns out she is a Karen...

She is on the phone with the company to complain about the results.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call your husband?

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives.

Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does."

Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft."

Kathy...

A Karen boards a flight to Paris and takes a seat in first class that is not hers.

The first flight attendant politely asked her to move to her seat in coach. The Karen smugly replied, "I am going to Paris and I will sit wherever I please."

The second flight attendant approached her sternly and demanded that she move to coach to take her proper seat. The Karen shouted loudl...

Karen got hired to an offshore rig during the pandemic.

She's an essential oil worker now.

All the Karen's of the world are so excited about the new vaccine laws...

They're excited to finally get a man date.

What did the alien Karen say when she landed on Earth?

Take me to your manager.

Why can’t Karens get anything done on a Windows computer?

They keep summoning the Task Manager

(Sorry: this came to my mind as I was getting frustrated with my slow computer)

Why is baseball telecaster Karen's preferred job?

She gets to speak with the manager after each game

I think it is time to reconsider calling people 'Karen'. It is rude...

We can all be Karen's in our own ways. I just realized I'm a computer Karen.



Every time something is taking too long, or the slightest inconvenience happens, I immediately want to see the task manager.



\*sorry\*

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