I make vegetarian thanksgivings dinners

They're called chive turkeys

If a vegan accidentally eats meat...

Do they break out in chives?

Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter.

My dog is so smart,” says the first owner, that every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese, stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed.

I know, says the second owner.<...

My waiter asked, "would you like sour cream, bacon and chives on your potato?"

"That's a loaded question."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Joke my Dad told that Im pretty sure I heard a comedian do once

So theres these three guys on a construction crew. Every day at lunch they compare what they get. Everday the italian guy gets pizza and he says " if I get this one more timea Ima jumpa offada buildinga!!!"

The irish guy pops open his metal box, lo and behold hes got mashed potatoes loaded wi...

I thought I heard an onion singing a Bee Gees song.

But it turned out it was just a chive talking.

My wife rolled a blunt using my to-do list!

She is high on my list of priorities!



Credit to : The Chive

A man opened his fridge and swore he heard two onions singing a Bee Gees song.

After closer inspection, he realized it was just chives talking.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Family First (original joke)

Mr. Scott Lood was a poor little farmer from Illinois who paid the bills by churning butter all day and all night. He came from a family of dairy farmers: his father was a cream maker, and his father before him a cheese maker. There was little money to be made in this line of work- so little in fact...

Son walks into the living room and says to his Dad

"Dad I think im going crazy, every time I walk past the fridge I can hear the Bee Gees"...
"Oh thats nothing" replies the Dad, "its just the chives talking".

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