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Bulb Jokes

how many alziemers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

to get to the other side

How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We don’t know. Due to a lack of building regulations, they keep dying from electrocutions.

How many Fu** Boys does it take to change a light bulb?

It is a trick question, as they are still using gas lighting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How Many Jews Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

Who needs a light bulb when you have eight candles? Happy Chanukah, y'all.

How many catholic priests does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to do the screwing and the other to do the confessing.

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, They just blame the other party because the bulb worked when they were in charge.

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's a very obscure number. You probably never even heard of it.

Someone broke into my house and stole every bulb.

I was delighted.

How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?

No one knows. They never get to keep the house.

How many podcasters does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But to fully understand why, we have to first travel back in time to the year 1880...

How many Excel users does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Monday January 01, 1900

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the
party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith
agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed
from the current position as a result of failure to perform previou...

Central American guy tells a joke. “How many white guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?”

“Zero. They pay me to do it”

How does Karen change a light bulb?

She puts it in and waits for the world to revolve around her

How many Karen's does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness

Thomas Edison needed Nikolai Tesla, Joseph Swan, James Bowman Lindsay etc to invent the light bulb.

Many hands make light work.

What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant lady?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

How many twitter people does it take to change a light bulb

Twelve million and one. One to change the lightbulb and twelve million to complain about how that one person ruined light bulbs forever

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Hey let’s go ride our bikes!

What's the minimum number of people it takes to screw in a light bulb?

Two but it has to be a really big light bulb.

How many roaches does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Can't tell, as soon as the light goes on, they scatter!

How many contortionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

At least two, but they may need some time to get inside it.

How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?



one to issue the requisition form LB24, one to sign the work order DF69, three to consult with management and reject both forms as not applicable to maintenance as per regulations. Seventeen to form a fact finding committee to discuss the overuse of LB24,after ten months of debate, there wi...

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb?

The real question is that who broke the light bulb and why are they keeping us in the dark?

edit.. thanks for the award kind stanger.

How do you get a group of emo kids to change a light bulb?

You don't, just let them sit and cry in the dark

How many GoT plot writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Only two, but they'll wait 6 or 7 seasons before screwing it up.

Yesterday, I changed a light bulb, crossed the street, and walked into a bar.

My life is a joke.

How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?

5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.

How many right wingers does it take to change a light bulb?

I've yet to find out because they all just stand around crying about the change

How many construction workers does it take to change a light bulb?

You need at least 4 people to figure out how to make this job last 3 months while the other 4 are on smoke break.

How many country singers does it take to change a light bulb?

2. One to change it and one to sing about how much they miss the old one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many medical professionals does it take to change alight bulb?

One nurse to check the temperature of the bulb. One GP to suspect the bulb is burnt out. One specialist to confirm the diagnosis. A surgeon and an anesthesiologist for this major organ transplant. A team of nurses and PAs to aid in the surgery. And a physical therapist to aid in the socket's recover...

How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many dead bodies does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know either, but it sure isn't 8 because my basement is still dark!

How did communists light their homes before candles?

with light bulbs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many grammar Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Too

How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?

10

One to change the bulb and nine to make t shirts for the event.

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and the other to give it an unexpected twist at the end.

EDIT: Thank you for the silver!

EDIT AGAIN: Thank you for the gold and platinum! I am honored!

How many Scientologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

That depends on the amount of workforce initiated by the individual and the amount of money given to the cult.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb?

Q: How many group members does it take to change a light bulb ?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the...

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just compliment it and then get mad when it won't screw.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!...

How many r/jokes users does it take to change a light bulb?

1000, one changes the light bulb and the others will start upvoting it and copying it and having orgies

Hagrid: you’re a light bulb Harry!

Harry Potter: I’m a watt!?

How many Metalheads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100.


1 to screw it in, and 99 to tell you that light bulbs were better in the 80s.

How many super saiyans does it take to change a light bulb?

Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?

One. We are efficient and dont have humour.

Light bulb

Paddy and John are working on a building site. Paddy says to John, “I need a day off, I’m going to pretend I’ve gone mad!”

Paddy climbs up to the rafters, hangs upside down from them and shouts, “I’m a light bulb! I’m a light bulb!” While John looks on in amazement.
The foreman shouts, “Pa...

How many Southern Baptists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: One to screw the lightbulb, and one to convince the lightbulb that the lightbulb’s sinful, promiscuous behavior is what caused the first one to screw it, and if the lightbulb gossips to the police about being screwed, it would be damaging the church’s mission of preaching the Good News of Jesus...

How many media outlets does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Outrage! as light socket forced into pairing with light bulb. "I just couldn't imagine this would be happening to me". Light socket is quoted as saying after the incident.


Pressure mounts on controversial home owner who refuses to rule out further forced bulb screw ins.


Associ...

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