How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They'll just beat the room for being black.

Yesterday, I changed a light bulb, crossed the street, and walked into a bar.

My life is a joke.

How does Trump change a light bulb?

He holds the bulb in the socket and waits for the universe to revolve around him.

What’s the difference between a Light bulb and a pregnant women?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

How do you get a group of emo kids to change a light bulb?

You don't, you just let them sit and cry in the dark.

How many lightning bugs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?

Apparently more than eight, ‘cause my basement is still dark.

How many astronauts does it take to screw a light bulb?

One but it will take several others to prevent the spacecraft from spinning in the same direction.

---

From my book *400 Fresh Clean Jokes For Everyone*.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw my son gluing light bulbs to the end portion of a dog.

"What the fuck is going on here?" I asked.

"My mechanic said I needed taillights."

Frasier Tribute: How Many Lawyers Does it Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?

I don’t know....depends on how many cops planted it there.

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?

It's a pretty obscure number, you've probably never heard of it.

So I went online to find out how many Swiss it would take to screw a light bulb. Turns out it's 16 for a 4 pack. So 4 Swiss for the one. But this answer left me with another question:

Why are they all named Frank?

How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I said lightbulb, not choir boy!

How many pessimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. The light bulb, with the rest of the world, is already screwed.

How many GoT plot writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Only two, but they'll wait 6 or 7 seasons before screwing it up.

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just compliment it and then get mad when it won't screw.

How many boomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They resist change even if it would make the world a brighter place.

How many maintenance guys does it take to change a light bulb??

4. 1 to hold the bulb and 3 to rotate the building.

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and the other to give it an unexpected twist at the end.

EDIT: Thank you for the silver!

EDIT AGAIN: Thank you for the gold and platinum! I am honored!

How many Social Workers does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But fifteen to write a report about surviving in darkness.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many redittors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and...

How many baby boomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just hire someone to do it and complain how back then a bulb used to cost a nickel

How many dental hygienists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, but that's only because you're not flossing enough.

How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb.

3. 1 to screw it in and 2 others to argue about how Neil Peart would have done it better

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many grammar Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Too

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement:

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as “Lawyer,” and the party of the second part, also known as “Light Bulb,” do hereby and forthwith agree t...

What do you call it when a light bulb is falling into a trash can?

It’s in-can-descent

How many millennials does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't know, the baby boomer that has the job now can't retire because they never saved anything and millennials all have LED lights that last longer.

[OC] How many UK Prime Ministers does it take to change a light bulb?

Who knows, they're never in office long enough to be able to do so.

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to assure the public that they’re doing everything they can to fix the issue while the other screws the bulb into a faucet.

How many battered wives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just keep putting the broken one back in because it promised things would be different this time.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.