Bulb Jokes

Only two, but they'll wait 6 or 7 seasons before screwing it up.

None. They just compliment it and then get mad when it won't screw.

I was delighted.

We don’t know. Due to a lack of building regulations, they keep dying from electrocutions.

Just one, but the light has to really want to change.


Give me your best lightbulb joke.

10.

1 to change the bulb and 9 to tell you how much better they could've done it

My life is a joke.

One. We are efficient and dont have humour.

Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!

Two. One to change the bulb, and the other to give it an unexpected twist at the end.

EDIT: Thank you for the silver!

EDIT AGAIN: Thank you for the gold and platinum! I am honored!

No one knows. They never get to keep the house.

Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness

One. But to fully understand why, we have to first travel back in time to the year 1880...

They hold it up to the light and wait for the world to revolve around them

Monday January 01, 1900

It is a trick question, as they are still using gas lighting.

The real question is that who broke the light bulb and why are they keeping us in the dark?

edit.. thanks for the award kind stanger.

Wanna go ride bikes?

It’s a reeeeaaally obscure number that you’ve probably never heard of

None, they'll all resist change even if it means making the world a brighter place.

1000 One to change it and 999 to walk into the same room and change the same light bulb without checking to see if it needed changing first.

You can unscrew a lightbulb

Just two, but how they get in there.. I don't know.

(Stolen from an old Maxim in my dad's storage)

Actually, the light bulb never gets changed. You were all too busy fixing my grammatical mistake.

Just one, unless their arms got ripped off in some sort of horrifying accident, in which case it still only takes one, just a different one.

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the aforementioned task in a timely and efficient manner within the structure in which said bulb is housed and being dependent on the following variables:

Whereas it should be taken in to account that ceiling heights may differ significantly f... read more

I came across an open package of light bulbs at work today.

I thought to myself, "Stealing lightbulbs? This guy must be in a really dark place".

None. They just keep putting the broken one back in because it promised things would be different this time.

One to screw the lightbulb and several others to prevent the spacecraft from spinning in the same direction.

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

**Scot:** (*sigh*)"Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark and save some money!"

None, we just sit in the dark complaining about capitalism.

But come the light-bulb revolution everything will be brighter.

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agre... read more

Paddy and John are working on a building site. Paddy says to John, “I need a day off, I’m going to pretend I’ve gone mad!”

Paddy climbs up to the rafters, hangs upside down from them and shouts, “I’m a light bulb! I’m a light bulb!” While John looks on in amazement.
The foreman shouts, “Pa... read more

A window user, a Linux user and an apple user all need to change a lightbulb in their respective homes. They split up and the windows and apple user meet back up 5 minutes later

Windows User: Did you get it fixed?

Apple user: No, it can't be cganged so I need to find a new house; how a... read more

5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.

2. One to change it and one to sing about how much they miss the old one.