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Schemes Jokes

What do you call agents who thwart money laundering schemes?

Detergents

Did you hear the joke about pyramid schemes?

Share this joke 10 times to find out how!

In Australia, we have the new financial assist schemes "JobSeeker" and "JobKeeper"

At least the unemployed get titles that sound like they are on a Quidditch team.

What does an evil genius say when he completes one of his diabolical schemes?

Done, done, donnnnnne.

I heard the mob are trying to promote illegal betting schemes around this year's Wimbledon...

It's a tennis racket!

What does the UK economy and dead pigs have in common?

The Tories love using both for their pump and dump schemes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday...

It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.


The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection, and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.


Doughboy is ...

Why shouldn't you work for an Egyptian company?

They're all pyramid schemes

Why should you never answer an Egyptian telemarketer?

They will try and get you in on their pyramid schemes

Why did the financial system collapse in ancient Egypt?

Pyramid schemes.

It's amazing how much has changed since the 80s

Back then we had a celebrity president with ultraconservative views and a cult following who was obsessed with a wall in the White House, a female Prime Minister with a complicated relationship with the EU and a total disregard for the poor of the country in Number Ten, the Russians were under a reg...

Fight with a girlfriend

She was like, 'I feel like you're going to go out there and you're going to find someone else; you're going to leave me.' And it's tough, you know, 'cause there's no polite way to sit a girl down and be like, 'Listen honey, no one else is dumb enough to f**k me. Some Ponzi schemes only have one vict...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Talking Dog

A woman walks into the store and sees a flyer.

"Talking Dog Looking for a New Home. $10"

The woman thinks "this is interesting, I should go check it out."

So she goes to the address listed and asks to see the dog. The owner brings her to the back yard where a black Lab is sittin...

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