Saudi Arabia Jokes

As he's walking, a local man on a camel begins to come into view. The tourist turned and could see that a woman was walking behind the local man on the camel. The tourist asked the man:

"Who is that?"

"That is my wife," he replied.

"Wouldn't it be kinder to let her ride the came... read more

The first question they asked was if I knew how to fly a plane.

The Queen doesn't wear a burkha.
The Queen roams freely wherever she wants to.
The Queen is more powerful than the King.
The Queen goes alone to opponent's territory.
Most importantly, there's only one Queen.

were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when they were arrested by Saudi police. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so they are all sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to app... read more

except women

In both countries, it's legal to get stoned.

I won’t beheading there anytime soon.

9/11

...is on the United Nations Human Rights Council.

It must be awesome to be a woman in Saudi Arabia!

a new chain of fast food restaurants are opening up which are run solely by women.

It's called Burka King.

In Saudi Arabia, "five finger discount" means you got caught shoplifting.

-A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the Middle East.
-Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.
-Iraq, Iran and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.
-The rest of the world ... read more

It's always Sunni!

Because he is Shia.

They literally live under Iraq.

A Togolese, Nigerian and a Ghanaian were arrested for drinking alcohol in Saudi Arabia.

The three of them were dragged in front of one of the princes, who said:

“You will get 50 lashes for the consumption of alcohol. However, since you are foreigners and did not know about the prohibit... read more

Paddy is driving his little red car, which has seen better days. John and Scott are drunk in the back.

Suddenly, ahead of them, they see an oil well on fire.
The firefighters are unsuccessfully trying to extinguish the flames.

Paddy drives straight over the well, blocking the oxygen... read more

It’s like beating dark soles

But Abu Dhabi do.

It's ok, he can still do amazing feets of magic.

Episode 1, after 10 mins:

"I'll take them all..."

\- End -

Counter Terrorist wins!

... and the Vatican this week, cradles of USA's 3 great religions:

Christianity, Judaism, and Oil.

We Will Rock You.

Because you know... There are no women's rights there...

will surely beheading out of the World Cup

driving school

One of them asks, "What are your current plans?" The prince says, "I'm going to starve to death a few hundred thousand people in Yemen and dismember one journalist." The counselor asks, "Why the journalist?" "See, no one cares about the people in Yemen."

.

The driver has a row of stitches around both his wrists. His mate points at them and says, “I see you won your appeal then...”

They need to beheading the ball less.

And they are changing the name of the event to December to Dismember.

Haram bae

He's hired OJ to track down the real killers.

But they'd still like to have a word with it at their embassy.

“Dubai” he asked?
“Yes” I replied, “And sell”

Then I remembered that I found the Riyal joke in the comments

...and once there, they are caught drinking smuggled alcohol. They are arrested, and each sentenced to 100 lashes by the whip as punishment.

Now the officer assigned to do the whipping says "It is my favorite wife's birthday, and she asked that I show a little compassion as I work today. I wi... read more

This has brought with it lots of excitement in the country. The first movie expected to be played is the classic middle eastern comedy Schindler's list.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and a Paddy go to Saudi Arabia. They decide to start drinking and somehow get caught. the go to see the Sultan for their punishment. The Sultan says "You're lucky today. I'm feeling nice today and I will only give you 50 lashes and you can choose to put anything on your ba... read more

They said," Yemen."

It covers everything.

They are all ordered to be whipped and will receive 30 whips each,
they ask the Frenchman what he would like on his back while he is whipped and he replies " A cushion" . After about 15 whips the cushion comes apart and the Frenchman is left screaming with a red back.
Then they as the German ... read more

It's mostly Sunni

You don't need a computer to play minesweeper in Saudi Arabia.

(I'm not sorry)

... all their prayers are going to go to Spam anyway