The fist President of Zimbabwe was President Banana

It was illegal to joke about this in Zimbabwe. The foreign press would slip in as many puns as they could. But if they got caught they were locked up with no chance to a peel.

What did Zimbabwe have before candles?

Electricity.

Did you know Zimbabwe loves the rapper 50 Cent?

Or as he's known there, 400 billion dollars.

What do you call a poor Zimbabwe citizen?

A trillionaire.

Where is the Capital of Zimbabwe?

In a Swiss bank account.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An anthropologist visits a local translator in Zimbabwe.

"I'd like to set up a meeting with the nearby Xhosa tribe," he says. "But I haven't had any luck finding them. Can you help me send a message?"

The translator smiles. "Ah yes, it is difficult to find them. This particular tribe has little interest in Westerners. But they will still meet with ...

Did you hear JC Penny opened a store in Zimbabwe?

It’s called JC Trillion Dollars

What's the capital of Zimbabwe? (from /r/TIL)

About $200.

By /u/ChuckFikkens in a [/r/todayilearned comment](http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/2r1fdv/til_in_2013_zimbabwes_national_public_account/cnbnv13)

She said she will love me till forever comes...

only to find out Forever is her boyfriend from Zimbabwe

Reporter to the world’s first trillionaire: “Sir, what are you going to do with all that money?”.

“I can buy a chicken and some bread now!”, says Abou, while walking out of his bank in Zimbabwe

What do the African nations Zimbabwe, Tanzania, Mozambique, Zambia, and Swaziland have in common?

A lot of da Z's.

Husband for sale...

A store that sells husbands has just opened in Zimbabwe , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ...

I really love the rapper 50 cent

Or as what we here in Zimbabwe call him.
4.563 billion dollars.

Edit: This is my first post. Thank you for the 9 likes.

What do you call someone from Zimbabwe holding a bottle cap in their hand?

A trillionaire.

Did you know Francis was not the first choice to become the new Pope?

Actually it was a lesser know man, Cardinal Herzenbacher.
He'd been a man of God from an early age, a pacifist all his life. When WWII broke out, he was conscripted and forced to fight, and so became a bomber pilot.
A few months into the war he was shot down but survived, miraculously only l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a man who was madly in love with a girl named Wendy.

He loved her so much that he decided to get a "WENDY" tattoo on his penis. Later he noticed that when he was not hard, you could only see WY on his penis. One day the man was at the showers after his basketball practice, when he noticed his black teammate also had WY on his penis. Naturally he asked...

Imagine a billionaire, which can't afford basic things

Because, he's from Zimbabwe

They said Brexit would let us get closer to non-EU countries.

They were right, we now have more in common with Zimbabwe than ever before.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You have two cows..

USA: You have two cows. You outsource a farm to milk them and sell the milk to those who can afford it. You then use the profit to buy someone else's cow for your butcher to make steak with.

Russia: You have two cows. When you get sober you remember that the mafia took them away from you, so ...

Hans Grapje was raised

in a Catholic school in The Hague and, as a young man, aspired to become a priest, but was drafted into the Army during WWII and spent two years co-piloting B17s until his aircraft was shot down in 1943 and he lost his left arm.


 
Captain Grapje spent the rest of the war as a chaplai...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

These puns are Capital!

So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!

Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?

To book a rest!

Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take h...

Hunger Games.

Zimbabwe's favorite pastime.

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