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Salvation Army Jokes

A man walks into a department store

He says to sales lady "I would like to buy a Baptist bra for my wife, size 36B."
With a quizzical look the sales lady asked "what kind of bra?"

He repeated a "Baptist bra, she said to tell you she wanted a Baptist bra, and you would know what she wanted."

"Ah now I remember" sai...

Why is The Salvation Army the best known charity?

The others just don't ring a bell.

My daughter just walked into the living room and said

"Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop.

Please take all of my jewellery to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me a...

“You remember my friend that works for the Salvation Army?”

Nah.. it’s not ringing any bells.


(Don’t kill me for this)

Our company got called in to a three alarm blaze at a local Salvation Army store today.

Thankfully no one was killed, but a couple people almost suffocated on secondhand smoke.

My wife said she wants to donate her old clothes to the Salvation Army, so starving people can buy and wear them.

I told her that anyone who can fit in her clothes certainly isn't starving.

So I just found out the Salvation Army is run by the Protestant church...

Talk about your worn again Christians...

The Salvation Army realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer...

So a volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community?
...

I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen....

.....Ungrateful bleeders, all I said was,
'Hurry up, for Pete's sake, some of us have got homes to go to!'

My ex just donated her eggs and got $3,000! WTF?

I donated sperm and all I got was a weird look from the Salvation Army Santa.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What religion is your bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dear readers, this Christmas day, one in five children in London will not have a gift from Santa!!

one in five children in London will not have a christmas tree at home.

one in five children in London will not have a christmas dinner with their family.



This is not an advertisement for Red cross or Salvation Army, one in five children born in London are Muslims and they dont ...

Marie Kondo says to donate anything that doesn't spark joy,

but The Salvation Army says that amounts to human trafficking.

I went to donate blood today

I guess Salvation Army prefers clothes.

I bumped into an old mate of mine today.

I said, "What are you doing these days?"

He said, "I prepare meals for the homeless, drug addicts, alcoholics and down and outs."

I said, "Oh, are you working for the Salvation Army?"

He said, "No. Wetherspoons!"

A drover walks into a pub...

A drover walks into a pub and orders 3 beers. He drinks a sip of each in turn. When he finish he orders 3 more.

The bartender says,”You know, a beer goes flat after I pour it. They taste better if you bought one at a time.”

The cattleman replies, “Well, you see, I’ve 2 brothers overse...

"Thank you for your service"

"Sir, the Salvation Army is not a part of our armed forces"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Another dumb joke my dad told me, it's probably old af but I find it funny so here it is

A man dies and goes to heaven. At the gates of heaven, Saint Peter is waiting for him. The man is shocked, as he had never believed in God.
He says to Saint Peter "Listen dude, I've made a terrible mistake by not believing in God. But ya see, I've been a real good person and have supported many r...

I tried donating sperm the other day, but they refused me.

The requirements they have are really strict there at the salvation army

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