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Resistance Jokes

If electricity always follows the path of least resistance...

Then why doesn’t lightning only hit France?

What did the first Vice President of South Africa say after joining the French Resistance?

"It is I! Deklerk!"

Whats Tom Hanks Without Resistance?

Tanks

Why are monks so good at protesting?

The more ohms you have, the greater the resistance.

I am like air resistance

Everyone neglects me

A physicist, an engineer and a statistician are out hunting.

Suddenly, a deer appears 50 meters away.

The physicist does some basic ballistic calculations, assuming a vacuum, lifts the rifle, and the bullet lands 5 meters short.

The engineer adds fudge factor for air resistance, and lifts the rifle a bit higher, and the bullet lands 5 meters lon...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the cockney hobo who offered no resistance to electrical current?

He was ohm-less.

iPhone vs Samsung

iPhone user: The new iPhone is coming out

Samsung user: What's new?

iPhone user: We're getting facial recognition

Samsung user: Had that 4 year's ago next

iPhone user: We're getting wireless charging

Samsung user: Had that 2 year's ago next

iPhone user: We'r...

Guys, I think the Monks are forming a Resistance..

They just keep saying "Ohmmm.. Ohmmm..."

Current times are scary. We must rise up against it. We need current times resistance.

We need voltage.

Glad to see my Buddhist friends join and chant in the protests

Everyone knows the more Ohms- the greater the resistance.

Why'd the air resistance committed suicide?

Because he's always being neglected

Which religion faces the most Resistance? Hinduism...

Om......

"Would you like to partake in resistance training?"

"No."

"That's what I like to hear."

How much resistance can a Buddhist monk endure?

Ohmmmmmm............?

You know what the scientists always say to build up resistance to distractions and channel nature

Ohmmmmmmmmmmmm

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandfather told me how, during WW2 when my nation was under Nazi occupation, he was part of the underground resistance, managing to bring down several German aircraft, and killing many of the pilots.

Easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

Why did the ambassador have extra resistance to harmful foreign bacteria?

He had diplomatic immunity.

A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician go hunting...

The three see a buck a little distance away.

The physicist makes a quick, back-of-the-envelope calculation, assuming an ideal bullet and neglecting wind resistance, and then fires. The bullet lands 10 meters in front of the buck.

The engineer has been doing his own calculations, adding...

Monks teach peace and harmony, but they sure do seem to like resistance..

Ohmmmmmm.

Chuck Norris, Zelensky, and God all walk into a bar.

The Bartender looks up, "Were were just about to start a new drinking game I've been working on. I call out a bragging point, and each one willing to meet it, chugs their drink. The last man standing due to matching every post and surviving every drink, gets the pot. Everyone else has to split the t...

My children were chewing on power cords again...

so I had to ground them. They put up some resistance at first, but firmly grasped the problem, and are conducting themselves properly now.

The personal trainer at the gym advised me to try some resistance training. So far it's going really well.

I've resisted going to the gym for six days now.

Why was the theoretical physicist afraid to go skydiving?

Air resistance was negligible

Yttrium-barium-copper oxide walks into a bar

The bartender tells him, "We don't serve superconductors here."

He leaves without resistance.

The moist finger

As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, at first encountering resistance but then plunging in, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter.

I took my finger back out and within seconds, before I knew it, she was going down on me.

And I thought to myself..... "I really ...

I was gifted a resistor by an old monk

So far, I haven't been able to use it in any circuits due to it's abnormally high resistance. Too mamy ohms.

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