Comparing Texas lawmakers with the Taliban seems a little extreme.

One is authoritarian theocracy armed by US weapons manufacturers that violently persecutes women and children in the name of religion and the other is the Taliban.

I got served by a one armed waiter the other day

You have to hand it to him

Placing three armed veterans in each school will stop school shootings

The shooter will see people with three arms and freak out.

We're in Trouble

### We're in Trouble

The population of this country is 327 million.


76 million are retired.


That leaves 251 million to do the work.


There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled.


Which leaves 203 million to do the work

...

What is it called when a one armed person waves at you?

Jazz hand

A Man arrives at his small business first thing on Monday morning. He is met by the local Sheriff and his deputies, armed with a warrant for his arrest and a full search and Seizure of his business and assets.

After he is placed in handcuff and read his rights, a Slim mild mannered man in a suit approaches him and identifies himself as an IRS agent.

IRS Agent: “Are you Mr Jones who resides at 188 Boardwalk Rd?”

Mr Jones: “Yes I am”

IRS Agent: “Do you own and run ‘Jones: Fun house...

One armed drummer tells a dad joke,

Badum...

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?

Wave to him!

Judge: So, Mr. Gonzalez, you are here on one charge of armed robbery. How do you plead?

Gonzalez: My abuela told me to do it.

Judge: Case closed, have a good day, Mr. Gonzalez.

In ancient Rome, a man was convicted for eating his wife.

The soldiers arrested him and bought him before Caesar.

"Do you have remorse for your heinous crime?" Caeser asked.

The Roman smiled and shook his head. He looked very happy.


Caeser was shocked. He told the guards

"To commit such an act is bad enough but to be happy a...

An armed man ran into a real estate agency and shouted…

"Nobody move!"

You are looking through your food bag after just leaving the Taco Bell drive through and find a note written on a napkin that reads "There are 2 armed men in here".......what do you do?

Eat your food.......1 armed men can't make tacos.

The woman across the street only has one arm. My wife says I shouldn't call her bandit because her name is Debbie.

Who ever heard of a "one-armed Debbie?"

Charles, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn’t seem to get to work on time.

Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late.
But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their “Older Person Friendly” policies.

One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.
“Charles, I have to tel...

What do you call a 1 armed man who does karate?

Partial arts

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So this Elf, Dwarf and a Thief go out on an adventure

So this Dwarf, Elf and Thief go out on adventure - the Elf armed with a great bow, the Dwarf with a warhammer and the thief with an empty sack "for all the gold we'll find!" They travel for days and days until they approach the entrance to a dangerous and dark dungeon. Bu they see that another par...

How does an octopus go to war?

Well armed!

Two financial advisors are in a bank when armed robbers burst in...

While one of the robbers takes the money from the tellers, the other proceeds to take the wallets, cell phones, watches, and other valuables from the customers.

In the midst of the chaos, the first advisor jams something into his friend’s hand. Without looking down, the second advisor says, "...

An armed masked man bursts into a bank yelling "EVERYBODY PUT YOUR HANDS UP, THIS IS A ROBBERY!"

The patrons and staff, terrified, comply.

He's loading up his sack with cash when his mask slips off. He quickly pulls it back up and sees two guys who may have seen his face. He points his gun at the first.

"Did you see my face?"

"Yes"

BANG, he shoots him.

He ...

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