Where do revolutionary chickens live?

The chicken coup!

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Revolutionary origin of a phrase.

It's the night before Battle of the Trenton and the Soldiers and staff are Cold.

First Lieutenant Cox goes to General Washington and suggests that the army go door to door in the local town and ask that the local residents put up the General's staff overnight, prior to the battle.

Wash...

Three billionaires are out golfing together

Suddenly, a ringing sound is heard. The first of the three pulls an earpiece out of his pocket and takes a call. When finished, he brags to the others about how fancy it is.

After some time, another phone starts ringing. The second man starts talking seemingly into this air. When asked, he ex...

TIL of Private First Class, Francis Lipton— an American soldier in the Revolutionary war– who invented a delicious new beverage while fighting at Valley Forge.

It was the first known casual tea of
War.

In light of the multiple recent crashes of its airplanes, Boeing announced a revolutionary new aircraft design made out of rubber.

Now, it won't crash. It'll just go, Boeing Boeing Boeing.

Victoria's Secret has launched a revolutionary new bra, "Croatia"

..it has lot's of support but no cup

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I read an article about a new revolutionary car that uses cow dung as fuel

But I think it's bullshit

Revolutionary medicine that cures Lyme Disease, but causes Tourette’s

Now that’s gonna cause a lot of nervous tics

Scientists discovered a revolutionary material with infinite length and zero depth

... but then they realized No Man's Sky was invented already.

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Shortly after the Revolutionary War, the American war hero Ethan Allen was in London for some business.

His hosts were very patriotic Englishmen, so there was inevitably some tension between them. One day, they acquired a portrait of George Washington and hung it in their outhouse, so that you could only see it when you were seated and the door was closed.

After Ethan came in from using it late...

My mom who’s a postal worker told me this joke.

A couple arrived at the hospital in labor. The doctors the tell wife and husband about a revolutionary new device. It can give some of the labor pain to the biological father. The couple agreed and as the doctors are turning on the machine. They tell the husband, look this is the worst pain you will...

Did you know that the shovel was a revolutionary invention?

Some would even call it groundbreaking.

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An american goes to britian shortly after the revolutionary war

While walking through the streets, he got looks of disgust, rude comments, or no attention at all. Eventually, one family kindly invites the man over to dinner.They start eating and talking, but the american says he has to use the bathroom. He asks where the bathroom is to go and do his business. Wh...

Rifling changed firearms forever.

It was revolutionary.

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A research scientist today held a press conference to reveal a revolutionary new bra material that eliminates breast jiggling and nipple protrusion

At the conclusion of his press conference the assembled newsmen dragged him outside and kicked the shit out of him

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An American revolutionary war veteran went to London for a grand ball.

Upon his arrival, the man in charge welcomed him graciously. They laughed and danced with the men and women until midnight, where he suddenly felt the urge to use the bathroom.

After receiving directions by the man, he walked inside the large bathroom to find that the only decoration was a ...

What does a Chinese communist revolutionary do after hearing a good joke?

L Mao

A revolutionary new product allows fathers to share a mother's pain during labour.

Mr Smith is happy to try it out and help his pregnant wife, and when the special day arrives, he tells the nurse to strap him up.

"Mr Smith, you are a very brave man. The machine has 10 settings, starting at the very manageable level 1, and going up to level 10, which will give you all of yo...

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The worst joke in the world

WW3 breaks out and the President authorizes use of the most powerful weapon ever made, a joke so bad it causes instant death to the listener. The problem is, it was said to be developed in revolutionary times by British expats and nobody could remember where it has been stashed away.

To find...

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A joke that Abraham Lincoln told

I’ve never seen this joke here before, I read it in some biography long ago in my school days. This is a joke that actual President Lincoln told:

There was an American ambassador to England after the revolutionary war, and his bitter hosts wanted to antagonize him.

So they got a port...

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I don't get why people say xxxtentacion is so revolutionary.

Chris brown beat him to it.

A couple go to the hospital because the wife is extremely pregnant.

A couple go to the hospital because the wife is heavily pregnant. The consultant tells them , “ We have this revolutionary new treatment, we give this special injection to the mother and all the birth pain transfers from the mother to the father.Would you like to try it?”

They discuss it and ...

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK.

It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet...

During the revolutionary war, a foreign scientist published a paper discussing the environmental effects of the boston tea party.

Unfortunately the scientist did not understand the number system used by the americas at the time and tried to wing it.

People to this day talk about the base 10 massacre.

The iPhone 7 may be revolutionary and everything....

But the Samsung Note 7 blows you away.

How do you spot a revolutionary pigeon?

They're the ones walking around shouting "Coup! Coup!"

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A woman goes in for a facelift

The doctor tells her, “We have a revolutionary new device that we install on the back of your neck. Whenever you feel that you need more lift, you turn the knob on the device and it will tighten your skin.”

The woman is ecstatic and gets the device installed. She has it for about 6 months an...

Three men die and appear before Buddha...

Stunned by the divine presence before them, they lower their heads.

\-Raise your heads. You were humble in life and your deeds were praiseworthy. You have earned the right to a reincarnation of your choice. You have much to accomplish yet though.

One of the people takes a step forwa...

During the Revolutionary War...

During the Revolutionary war Jim volunteered to fight against the British. There was one problem though, he was too old to fight effectively on the battlefield and as a result decided to put his musical skills to use and played the flute to direct troop movements. Everything went well until one day,...

iPhone 7 is revolutionary!

•no headphones jack
•no wireless charging
•no curved screen
•no 4K resolution (or even full HD) screen
•no VR headset support
•no 360 camera support
•no expansion storage slot

It is true revolution in scamming people to upgrade from old iPhones!

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A Revolutionary War Hero Visits England..

A Revolutionary War hero was visiting England, where he was subject to considerable teasing banter.

The British would make fun of the Americans and General Washington in particular and one day they got a picture of General Washington and displayed it prominently in the outhouse so the Americ...

What is the difference between the American Revolutionary War and several cows being launched into space?

One was the shot heard around the world and the other is a herd shot around the world.

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My favorite 4th of July joke: Do you know why Americans spell color, humor, and behavior that way they do?

"Because fuck u that's why."

-- George Washington, Revolutionary War

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A chemist discovered a revolutionary new compound of technetium, sulfur, helium, and bismuth.

It got him tons of BiTcHeS.

What is the name of Apple's revolutionary new product that allows elite pirates to see from their eyepatches.

The iEyeCaptain

Everyone knows of famous martial artist, Bruce Lee

But no one ever talks about his family.

His brother, the revolutionary vegetarian activist, Brocco Lee.

His cousin, the hesitant statistician, Probab Lee.

His uncle, the trustworthy politician, Honest Lee.

And of course, the Spanish inquisitor, Juan "Expected" Lee.

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First joke I've ever come up with. So far nobody has laughed

I went to the opticians and they were telling me about revolutionary technology to allow us to see out of different parts such as our arms, nose and even our ass. Intrigued, I asked "when will this technology would be available?" The optician replied "arm and nose is coming in 2019, hindsight is 20...

Happy birthday to Frank Zamboni

A revolutionary inventor, despite being dead for almost 40 years, his name still resurfaces.

Everyone knows of famous martial artist, Bruce Lee

He also had a brother, the revolutionary vegan activist, Brocco Lee

A woman was about to go into labor...

when the doctor revealed a revolutionary new device that could transfer some of the pain of childbirth to the father.

The woman's husband, being the nice, loyal guy he is, decided to man up and take some of the pain for his wife. The doctor started at 20%.
20% of the pain was transferred...

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There was a scientist

That claimed that all ants are constipated.
A tabloid sent a reporter to investigate his claims.
The reporter traveled miles and miles and reached his expedition in the Amazon, finding him surrounded by students looking in awe at him picking ants off a colony.

The journalist respectfull...

Somebody asked me about my thoughts on Assassin’s Creed III...

I told him that it’s a pretty revolutionary game.

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I got this one from the 2012 film 'Lincoln'

Ethan Allen was a Revolutionary War hero who had occasion to visit England shortly after peace was declared. During this trip, Allen’s British hosts pelted him with jokes about Americans and General Washington in particular and one day they got a picture of General Washington which was conspicuously...

I'll never forget when I saw it for the first time.

I was 12 at the time, I just hit puberty. I measured it and it was 3.5 inches if I remember correctly. I almost couldn't believe my own eyes. It's more than twice of what I been seeing before. It was crazy. Ill never forget how sensitive it was and how inexperienced I was when touching it using my o...

The country of Ohms is run by a brutal dictator.

Due to the suppression of their rights, the citizens of Ohms frequently rise up and attempt to storm the gates of the capital city. However, the dictator always has just the right number of mercenaries to repel the rebels and cause the survivors to disperse for a few months or so.

The dictat...

Did you hear the one about the guy who invented revolving doors? [oc]

It was a revolutionary way to enter buildings!

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A man goes to the Doctor

A man goes to the doctor with a severe speech disorder, determined to discover it's origins.

After many, many tests the doctor comes in with a solemn look on his face.

"werp ducktor, waths da calls of my Airelments?!" The man asked.

The doctor replied. "It appears that your spe...

How many Apples does it take to change a light bulb?

Two

One to change the bulb

The other to sell the iBulb for $600 and claim it's "revolutionary"

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Word spread quickly that a meat shipment was inbound from Moscow, in the Russian Soviet Federated Socialist Republic.

Sure enough, in the early hours of Monday morning the line outside State Food Store no. 46 was already over two hundred people long, many whispering excitedly about poultry and sausages, despite the dark, bitterly cold morning. After hours of waiting, and still before sunrise, the Commissar came out...

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A doctor, a lawyer and an engineer

It's September 1793, in Paris, France. A crowd of several thousand has gathered at the Place de la Concorde.

A doctor, a lawyer and an engineer are lined up for execution. All three women are accused of conspiring against the Revolutionary government.

Nodding to the smiling crowd, the ...

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Lenin headed directly to Heaven after he died.

He thought he had done much good for the oppressed and deserved retirement in Heaven. He arrived at the gates.

"Who's there?"

"Vladimir Ilyich Lenin."

"Okay, okay! Last one in be sure to close the door. It's kind of cold in here..."

God checked Lenin's dossier and decided...

So farmer Bob had a rivalry with farmer Jim.

They were both cattle farmers but Jim's herd was much larger and fatter, and his meat went for much more money. So bob started looking for a way to bulk up his cows. He started experimenting. Eventually he discovered that feeding them marijuana made them grow exponentially, while also making them mo...

Why did the dictator ban carousel rides in his country?

He deemed them revolutionary.

Inventors

Tesla, Ford, and Edison were all standing on a stage, presenting their latest findings.

Tesla strolled forward and announced that he had invented a brand new way to transmit energy through the air! The crowd clapped politely.

Ford was next, and pulled the cover off a large engine. He ...

A Woman Goes Into Labor...

...Her husband rushes her to the hospital. The delivery is taking much longer than usual and is exceptionally painful. The normal pain killers aren't working, so the doctor approaches the husband with a revolutionary new device. The device would transfer increments of the wife's pain to the Father o...

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A business owner is looking to have a painting commissioned...

He has this decently sized white wall in his office, and asks a local artist to paint a mural on it.

The artist asks, "Well, what kind of mural were you thinking?"

The owner is a huge American History buff. He thinks for a bit, about the revolutionary war, the civil war... he decides ...

Beer is mankind's best invention ever, but

the wheel is the most revolutionary.

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An American, German, and British soldier are captured by cannibals.

An American, German, and British soldier are captured by cannibals. The cannibals say, "We're going to kill you, eat you, use your bones to make tools and your skin to make canoes. You get to choose the way you want to die."

The British solder asks for a musket from the American revolutiona...

Have you seen the new globe they're making?

It's revolutionary

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A man who was born without eyelids...

...agreed to undergo a revolutionary operation where the missing skin was replaced by foreskin tissue.

He is a lot happier now, although he looks a little cock eyed.

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