What is Transylvania?

A desert that identifies as a forest.

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2 nuns are in a car at a stop light in Transylvania when a vampire blocks their car...

One nun says to the other “Quick sister, show him your cross!”

The other nun rolls down the window and yells “Get the bloody hell out of middle of the road asshole!”

My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.

Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.

In Transylvania. We go hunting for bear!

Father tells son:

Son! We go hunting for bear! Bring the dog, rope and the gun.

So the boy asks: Why we need the dog and the rope?

Because, when we go hunting for bear. The bear will be up on the tree. I climb up, shake the bear down. When the bear falls the dog will bite his n...

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Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.



"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"

"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.

Sister...

My friends went to Transylvania to see if vampires really exist

That's ridiculous. I've lived there in a castle for 700 years and I've never seen one.

Two nuns are driving through Transylvania when suddenly, out of nowhere, a vampire jumps on their windshield

The nuns panic and the one driving starts swerving the car to try knock him off, to no avail.

"Quick! Quick! Show him your cross! Show him your cross!", shouts the one nun.

The other nun looks at the vampire and shouts:

"Get the f\*\*k off the windshield!!"

As they say during election season in Transylvania...

Every Count Votes

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Two nuns in Transylvania are driving home one night

As they’re driving back Dracula suddenly swoops down from the trees.
When he lands on the car one nun shouts to the other “show him your cross!”
The other nun says “okay!”
She then leans out the window and shouts “get off my bonnet you cunt!”

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Two nuns are driving along in Transylvania,

all of a sudden Dracula runs out into the road & jumps on the bonnet of their car.
The first nun says ‘ Well what are we going to do?’
The second replies ‘ Get out & show him ya cross’
The first nun jumps out & screams ‘ Get off my fucking car you toothy prick!’

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Nuns traveling in Transylvania.

Two nuns are driving down a winding road in Transylvania, long after the sun has set.

Mother Superior sits in the passenger's seat, and Sister Carlotta sits in the driver's seat. They are driving along in relative silence when all of a sudden a vampire lands on the hood of the car and sna...

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Two nuns are driving through Transylvania.

Suddenly, Dracula jumps onto their windshield and they can't see anything. He starts hissing and scratching at the glass. The nun in the passenger seat says to the one driving "flick on your wipers and knock him off!" So the first nun does, but Dracula just slides back and forth with the blades, his...

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Two Nuns are driving through Transylvania.

Suddenly Satan himself jumps out in front of the car, gets on the bonnet and starts waving his genitals and twirling his tail, screaming obscenities.

One nun says to the other nun. "Sister, it's Satan, what shall we do?" The second nun says "Have faith in Jesus The Redeemer, show him your cr...

A Dark And Stormy Night In Transylvania

Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Europe, near Transylvania. They re driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It is late, raining very hard and Bob can barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control. Bob attempts to control it, ...

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Four nuns are driving through Transylvania one night...

A vampire flies down out of the sky and lands on the hood of the car, hissing at them and baring his fangs.

The nun driving shrieks, "What do I do, what do I do?"

One of the other nuns says, "Turn on the windshield wiper, maybe it will knock him off!"

So the driving nun does so,...

Three vampires are discussing who is the most powerful.

Three vampires are in a castle in Transylvania discussing how strong and powerful they are. The youngest of the group slams his fist on the table and exclaims, "I am the fastest out of us three! Watch this!"

He bursts out the window transforming into a bat and flies towards a small village....

Where are LGBTQ vampires from?

TRANSylvania

A Romanian tells a Hungarian a joke

Romanian:wanna hear a joke

Hungarian:Sure

Romanian:transylvania

Hungarian:i dont get it

Romanian:and you never will

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The autonomous hungarian

Somewhere in Transylvania, Romania.

Hungarian ethnic Istvan marries a romanian woman. His dad gives him the last advices for the wedding night:

- ''Istvan, my son, when you get back home take her in your arms and carry her over the doorstep, so she'll see hungarians are strong. Then yo...

A van full of nuns is driving through Romania

The nuns get to Transylvania and a vampire jumps onto their windshield. The nuns panic and one in the back yells to the driver “Speed up! Speed up!” So the driver hits the gas and no matter how fast they go the vampire holds on tight.

“Hit the brakes! Hit the brakes!” Another nun yells fr...

Two vampires go on vacation

I read [this vampire joke](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2qph5b/one_of_the_funniest_vampire_jokes/) and it reminded me of one I heard many years ago.

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Two vampires were out for a stroll in Transylvania.

"You know, I have been getting sick of eating the same thing ev...

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Dracula in Italy

Count Dracula, fed up with the miserable weather in Transylvania, decides to take a holiday, so he packs up his coffin and capes and heads to Rome for a long weekend.
Upon arriving at his hotel the concierge greets him and asks if has a reservation.
"Yessss," replies the Count. "I am Dracula,...

A new craze sweeps an Eastern European nation

Though Transylvania is mostly rivers and mountains, a new outdoor sport is achieving newfound popularity. Folks have been flocking to the calmer parts of the Olt and Danube to try out for a crew, the competitive paddling fad usually found in lakes. In fact, the sport has spread from the region to th...

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