Clarence Jokes

He was right behind Rudolf, he could fly just as fast as him, but could never stop as quick as Rudolf.

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Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty.

He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.

"Jesus is wat... read more

Surprisingly, George W. Bush won.



He was the only contestant to spell "harass" as one word.

There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across... read more

An extremely wealthy family owned countless successful companies, bought out competitors and even purchased new ventures if they looked promising enough. Nothing was too big or small, and nothing was off limits.

The family consisted of a mother (Linda), father (Robert) and 3 sons (Robert Jr.,... read more

The farmers, let’s call them Clarence and Earl (because those are the only names I can think of that sound like the names farmers would have), decide that in order to save money they would keep the pigs in the same pen. Clarence then tells Earl, “let’s clip the ear off of one of the pigs so we can t... read more

He’s going through all of the family’s belongings when he hears a voice say “Jesus is watching you.”

He looks around and sees no one and think he’s imagining things he goes back to what he’s doing and again hears a voice say “Jesus is watching you.”

He shined his flashlight on a cage a... read more

Ol' Boudreaux and his wife lived down in the river bottom. They had a neighbor across the river named Clarence. Well, one day, Boudreaux and Clarence were yelling back and forth cross that river arguing over something. Ol' Boudreaux had had enough. He stormed off to his house and grabbed his hat, ... read more

Two rednecks live on either side of a river. One named Billy, the other named Clarence. Well, every day the both go to the bank on their side of the river and yell insults at each other. One day, a construction company moves in a builds a bridge accross the river. Billy wakes up one morning and sees... read more

One day the farmer decided that Clarence his bull is starting to get a bit old, so he decided to go to the market and buy a new one.

The next day the new bull Johnny came strutting off the ramp into the farm. Clarence takes one look at him and decides that he better start off on the right foo... read more

Clarence was a farmer who lived during a period when few medications were available. When a county Doctor examined him, he found a severe case of hemorrhoids. The Doc told him he had samples of a new treatment called suppositories and gave him a handful. When Clarence next saw the Doctor at church, ... read more

An elderly couple were sitting in the parlor their humble home, listening to an evangelist's weekly radio broadcast on their tabletop radio. The hymns and sermons done with, the evangelist addressed the radio audience.

"And NOWWWW!...ALL who are SUFFering under the PANGS of ILLness and inF... read more

They lived their whole lives right across the river from each other, way back in the day. The nearest bridge across was 100 miles away, and both were too poor to afford an automobile, so from their youth they made a past time of shouting insults to one another from across the river.
For many yea... read more