Our assassin-hiring firm has recently moved offshore -

no business shall be conducted on continental grounds!

Karen got hired to an offshore rig during the pandemic.

She's an essential oil worker now.

A shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island, completely alone.

Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out towards him.

When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him: β€œThe captain said to read through these and let us know if you still...

What did the oil refinery say to the offshore drilling platform?

Send crudes

A man is walking down a beach when he spots a bottle with a cork in it.

He opens the bottle and out comes a genie. The genie is grateful to be out of the bottle and offers the man three wishes to be granted.

The man first wishes for a billion dollars in an offshore Swiss bank account. There's a flash of light and in his hand is a receipt for a billion dollars in...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

What do you call a Hardcore porno filmed on a boat in the ocean?

Offshore Drilling

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

So this guy is stranded on an island with a goat and a dog.

Days pass.. then weeks... then months... and years pass with no human contact. He starts to crave the urge to have sex.

So he looks around and sees the goat. Comes up with the idea to have sex with it. He positions her right and is ready for some action. But just as he is about to pull his pa...

The Psychic

Fearing her marriage is crumbling, a middle-aged woman visits a highly respected psychic renown for the accuracy of her predictions.

In a dark and hazy room, she tells the psychic of her fears and growing unhappiness.

The mystic peers into her crystal ball, then looks at the woman an...

The last joke my Italian grandfather told me before he passed.

Two italian soldiers are sitting on a beach in Normandy during WWII when a German submarine surfaces offshore. One Italian looks at the other and says, "Is thata UBoat?" The other Italian replies, "nope, not mine".

Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Three men were out fishing in the ocean

Then this huge storm come and sweeps them way offshore. After a few days stranded, they spot an island and start paddling towards it with their hands. They get on the island thinking it's uninhabited but quickly find that it is inhabited by cannabils. They couldn't outrun the cannibals (who were ful...

My marriage is based on trust.

And according to my wife's lawyers, that trust is based offshore.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

'Economic Stimulus' payment

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:


Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal gover...

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