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Jake, my pussy-eating frog

A guy walks into a bar holding a frog and when he sits down next to a hot blonde, he sets the frog on the bar. She turns to him and asks, "What the hell is that frog?"

"That's Jake, my pussy-eating frog."

The blonde looks at the frog, shakes her head and goes back to her drink. An hou...

What do you call a bulletproof Irishman..?

Rick O’Shay

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Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo

The place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request.

A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice... "Play a Jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!" Ama...

A winery is looking for a taster and so the vintner puts an ad out in the paper.

The next day, a man arrives at the office. He has greasy hair and a five o'clock shadow, he's wearing a filthy jacket and torn jeans, he obviously hasn't had a shower since Christ was crucified, and he smells strongly of stale tobacco smoke and cheap beer. The vintner sees the man's obviously a ho...

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John and Mike, both of whom had harelips, hadn't seen each other for 10 years since high school. They happen to run into each other on the street, but John no longer has a harelip.

Mike cries "Yohn! Iss peen so yong thinth I theen you! Put tell me whad' happen wiss your harelip?" John says, "It's amazing isn't it? I don't know why it happened, but one night my wife gave me oral sex, and when I woke up the next day it was all healed. Promise me you'll try the same thing and see...

Bob and Sean Connery were walking one day...

Bob and Sean Connery were walking one day. The leaves were turning in the trees, and the sun was shining through them.

"I shay!" Sean Connery said, "What a day to be outshide. It's shimply beautiful, ishn't it?"

"Absolutely," his friend Bob replied, admiring their surroundings. Though ...

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A drunk is leaning against a lightpost...

A drunk (D) is leaning against a lightpost on the corner of a busy street. Whilst gazing blearily around, he notices a smartly dressed young man (YM) standing a few feet away, watching the people pass by. As D is watching, a lovely lady comes walking along, and the YM says something to her. She imme...

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Two drunk friends are sitting at a bar when one suddenly spews all down his shirt...

"Oh No" he cries, wiping his mouth. "My wifsh gonna fucking kill me!"
"Nah, Nah. Don't sweat it." pipes up drunk 2. "Jush put $20 in your shirt pocket and tell her some sick bastard spewed all over you but gave you money to cover the cleaning."
"Thatsh fuggin brilliant. I'll do that" and stagg...

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