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Rigged Jokes

Normally I hate those trashy, fake, rigged reality TV shows...

But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway.

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It ain't rigged.

A gas station owner in Mississippi was trying to increase his sales. So he put up a sign that read, *"Free Sex with Fill-Up."* Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free s...

I think this 'Miss Universe' contest is rigged.

I mean, every one of the contestants is from Earth.

What is the difference between Clinton and Putin?

Putin can win a rigged election.

This is rigged!

Wife to Husband :

Will you take me out for dinner in the evening? Your options are:

A) Yes

B) A

C) B

My friend went into a suntanning competition but it was rigged

Because all the contestants got bronze

The Miss Universe pageant is definitely rigged.

The winners are always from Earth.

Coin flipping contests are rigged!

Just a heads up.

I think my communist theory test was rigged

Everyone got the same marx

I think my coins are rigged...

I'm never gettin' any head

Why couldn't Hillary rig the election like she rigged the DNC?

She deleted that email.

Two Trump supporters die and go to heaven.

They ask God if he'd answer one question.
"Of course" God says.
They ask how the Democrats rigged the election in 2020.
"It wasn't rigged" God replies.

The Trump supporters look at each other and say, "This conspiracy goes higher than we thought!"

Miss Universe is rigged and I always know who’s going to win before it even starts

The winner has always been a contestant from planet Earth

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so a man is pulled over

The cop walks up to the window and says sir, do you know why I pulled you over? The man says no and the cop says I clocked you doing 77 in a 65. May I see you license, registration and proof of insurance. The man says he not only has none of those but the car is stolen. The couple he stole it from ...

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Two men drove to a gas station for a fill-up because they heard about a contest being offered by the station to patrons who purchase a full tank of gas...

When they went inside to pay, the men asked the attendant about the contest.

"If you win, you're entitled to free sex," said the attendant.

"How do we enter?" asked the first man.

"Well, I'm thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess right, you win free sex."

"O.K. ...

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What does Melania call it when Donald takes Viagra?

A rigged erection.

The court jester decided to play a prank

So he got a bucket of coal dust from the blacksmith and rigged it over a doorway.

Soon enough Sir Lancelot walks up in his shiniest silver armor. He'd spent the entire morning polishing it to a mirror finish. As soon as he walks through the doorway, a trip wire dumps the bucket of coal dust ...

An average American voter walks into a bar ...

... and sees Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton huddled together at the end of the bar, whispering to one another. Intrigued, the voter approaches the pair and asks them what they are doing.

"We're planning the 2016 election," brags Trump.

"What's going to be different about it this yea...

There was once an island kingdom whose people were all fabulously wealthy.

Even though they could have afforded to live anywhere they wanted, tradition dictated they stay on their tiny island home.

Eventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe's elders. He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within...

I don't trust sailboats

They're rigged

The truth about oil drilling

The system is rigged

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What is the name of Trump's new Viagra product?

'RIGGED ERECTION!!!'

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Donald Trump sues male enhancement company viagra

Trump claims he received a rigged erection

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What do viagra and China have in common?

Rigged erections

A joke my late grandad used to tell me

2 men, Mr. Kent and Mr. Olsen are on the roof of a 20 story building. Mr. Kent turns to Mr. Olsen and says "The great thing about this building is that they've rigged it to prevent suicides". Mr. Olsen asks how and Mr. Kent says "If anyone jumps off the roof, something in the building pulls you in t...

Trump did great, but...

...imagine how much he would have won by if Clinton hadn't rigged the election.

Donald Trump Was Right About Two Things

1. That every poll which showed him inevitably losing were incorrect

and

2. That the results were rigged

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There lil Johnny sat in the back of class...

as the teacher announced that "Today, if the students could name the famous Americans who said these famous quotes, they could go home early."

Excited, the whole class perked up.

"First one." Mr. Jones said. "We have nothing to fear but fear itself."

Every student's hand was up...

I went up north to drill oil, didn't get payed

Turns out, it was all rigged.

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A sleazy stripper runs for governor

After a controversial ballot, the stripper wins despite never having a lead the whole race. Many people suspect they rigged the erection.

My Cat Wifi

So I bought one of those 'cat detector' things for around the collar only the battery needs to be charged every two days. I didn't like the idea of taking the GPS thing off for it to charge so I rigged it so that it is plugged in while still attached to the collar of my cat. I put her bed near the p...

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Billy Bob & Jimmy Bob

Billy Bob & Jimmy Bob drive through a gas station to fill up their truck. They notice a sign saying "Enter here for a chance at free sex!"

They wander inside and ask the attendant how to enter. The attendant says that they have to guess a number between one and ten.

Billy Bob gu...

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Two Good Ol' Boys

Two good ol' boys were driving down the road when they needed some gas. After a while, they saw a sign that read "Free Sex with Fill-up." They decided to pull in and asked the attendant for a full tank. After he was done, they paid and the attendant started to walk away.

"Wait," the driver y...

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There once were two friends

Two male friends take the Porsche of one of the friends for a spin.

They drive for half an hour and then they pulled over to refuel. The man who works at the gas station says that there is a little quiz he does. He says: "guess the number and you get some free sex." One of the two friends s...

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Classic Rocky and Bullwinkle pun

On a December trip to Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, Ferdinand Feghoot was summoned to the local college, Wossamotta U. by Inspector Fenwick, the Chief of Police.

There he was confronted with an appalling scene. Bullwinkle, the town's leading citizen, had been smashed flatter than a kippered her...

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