UPJOKE
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Backward Jokes

If you say AT&T backwards

You sound like a Canadian Bomb Technician.

Don't spell part backwards

It's a trap

What do you get when you spell “man” backwards?

Flashbacks.

Wife asks: Why are you watching our wedding video backwards?

— I like the part when I take the ring off your finger, leave church and go to the bar with friends.

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards"

Me: "And?"

I watched the video of my wedding backwards.

I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.

Wow: I made it to front page! Thanks guys!

Some say that if you play Nickelback backwards you'll hear Satan.

Even worse, if you play it forwards you'll hear Nickelback.

Vladimir Zelenski is a backwards politician.

Most politicians act like heroes to get elected and comedians while in office.

Which cheese is made backwards?

Edam

What do you get when you spell "man" backwards?

Flashbacks

When Mozart died, you could hear his music playing backwards at his grave.

He was decomposing.

I got an e-mail saying “At Google Earth, we can even read maps backwards”, and I thought...

“That’s just spam”

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If you pronounce "fuck off" backwards.

you say it in a British accent.

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Why do Jews watch porn backwards?

Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back.

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I want to live my next life backwards

You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old age home feeling and start feeling better every day.

Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.

Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch ...

is it crazy how saying sentences backwards . . .

. . .create backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?

What kind of car is the same frontward and backward?

A Toyota.




First post ever on Reddit. I hope I did it right.

If someone wants to say the word "motel" backwards

Just letom.

Racecar backwards is still racecar.

But racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.

So, why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?

Because if they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.

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He had a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again......back and forth....in and out.......She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back. She was getting near to the end…

...her heart was pounding..... her face was flushed.....

Then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.

Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted,

"Okay, Okay!!! I can't park the car!!! You do it, you smug fucking asshole!!!"

What do you call a camel that looks the same walking forward as it does walking backward?

A palindromedary.

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If you say "fuck off" backwards...

You still say fuck off but with an Irish accent.

Forward, it’s heavy. Backwards, it’s not. What is it?

A ton

If you watch Jeopardy backwards, it's about rich people paying money for answers to questions.

That is all.

What do you call a backwards racecar?

A racecar.

Did you know that 'Muffins' spelt backwards...

...is what you do, when you take them out of the oven ?

My friend Tony asked me not to say his name backwards…

I replied “y not”?

Before you say "Tesla" backwards, make sure everyone's ready.

All set?

Voting is a lot like driving

To go backwards, choose “R”.

To go forward, choose “D”.

Ever seen a dog with three legs walk backwards?

Its trippy .

If you watch 127 Hours backwards

It's the uplifting story of an amputee finding an arm in the desert.

If you watch a Jackie Chan movie backwards...

You will get a documentary about a Chinese guy who assembles furniture with his feet.

What happens if you play a country song backwards?

You get your girl back. You get your truck back. You get your dog back

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Adam Sandler told the funniest joke I've ever heard. It's about Shaq.

So Sandler relays the story below:

I was playing basketball and got the opportunity to play with Shaq. It was great. Afterward it just so happens that I'm in the showers and it's just him and me in adjoining showers. So I think to myself, I've got to see his penis. This is my one chance. I've...

Why do anesthesiologists have you count backwards from 100 when they put you under?

Because numb is good but number is better.

If you watch Cinderella backwards..

It's about a woman who learns her place.

Why dont cows run backwards?

They prefer to woc

A man put a condom on backwards.

He went.

Life tip: watch the movie "Jaws" backwards.

It is a heartwarming story about a giant white shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.

TIL That Elbillug is the only word that is pronounced the same forward and backward.

Well, that and Rekcus.

Coffee spelt backwards is 'eeffoc'....

And until I have had my coffee, I don't give 'eeffoc'.

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Why do Jewish people watch porn backwards?

They like the part where the prostitute pays them

What is 'oob' backwards?

The answer might surprise you!

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What's the worst part of a naked bartender walking backwards?

His cocktail.

I just discovered that the word 'nothing' is a palindrome...

Backwards it spells 'gnihton', which also means nothing.

If you watch Wall-E backwards

it's about a little robot that would rather live alone forever than deal with fat people

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.

A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music comin...

It's quite ironic that "strap on"…

…backwards, spells 'no parts'…

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If you watch 1970's porn backwards..

It's about a hairy man who hoovers cum off a women, then breaks her washing machine and leaves...

Did you know google maps can work backwards?

But it always gets caught in the spam filter!

What’s gonna happen if you sing blues backward

It stops raining, your wife returns, your dog resurrects

When you listen to rock backwards you hear satanic messages, what do you get when you listen to country music backwards?

Your wife back, your life back, and your dog back.

Dad joke: What's a hallmark movie played backwards?

A country song. :D

What happens if you put the Energizer bunny's batteries backwards?

He keeps on coming, and coming, and coming...

Helicopter backwards is retpocileH

Helicopter upside down is how Kobe died

If you watch Godzilla backwards

it's about a dinosaur that passionately pieces a city back together before moonwalking into the sea.

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My dad's favourite joke. Mine too.

There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let the community know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.

At the event hundreds were there...

You have to read them backwards to get them.

What's the problem with time travel jokes?

The word ‘Diputseromneve’ may look ridiculous,

But backwards it’s even more stupid.

This one time a cop pulled me over and asked me to say the alphabet backwards...

...so I said "tebahpla eht" and I spent the whole night in jail.

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You: Bastard



Me: You just did

You: I'm not going to do that

Me: This joke only makes sense if you read it backwards

Did you hear about the woman who walked backwards into a desk fan?

Disassed 'er!

How does a Swan eat backwards?

It nawS.

I was going to say the word “door” backwards

but thought it might be rude.

5 yo: Can you count backwards from infinity?

Me: Of course I can but it will take forever.

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