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All these reviews people are leaving in the comment section of pornhub

I just hope there’s a pretentious ratatouille style porn critic who sees that one video that sends him back to his childhood when he developed his very first kink

I’ve developed an app with information about insects, but it keeps getting bad reviews in App Store



People say it has a lot of bugs?

I don't trust a teacher who reviews every single piece of homework they give out

I think they're mass-grading as someone else.

Did you see the reviews for the restaurant on the moon?

Great view, but no atmosphere.

Nike have unveiled a pair of trainers made from pineapple leather to appeal to Vegans...

They tried other fruits, but reviews said the ones made from bananas felt too much like slippers.

Two heroin addicts die and stand before Saint Peter at the pearly gates

They ask Saint Peter if they’re allowed in, and Peter reviews their records.

“Wow, I’m really not sure guys. It says here you’ve done a lot of bad things. Stealing, lying, generally bad addict behavior things. I can’t make this call, I have to go ask the big guy himself”, Peter says.

...

Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?

They checked the reviews... but we only had one star

I opened an egg restaurant that only serves the best eggs.

It's getting a lot of 1 star reviews despite us barely getting any customers though so if you're in the Bay area, checkout "Whites only" and help us out!

So western cartoons are being introduced to the Middle East

TV execs decided to go with The Flintstones as an initial trial to see how they'll be received.
So far there has been mixed reviews.
People in Dubai don't get the humour at all but by all reports, the people in Abu Dhabi do.

Why did the movie about chickens get bad reviews?

Because it was fowl.

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Customer satisfaction

Don't think I've seen this posted here so here goes

A company executive decided to have lunch at this restaurant with rave reviews. He sat down at a table and noticed that every waiter had a spoon in their shirt pocket. He called a waiter over to ask him about this.

'I noticed somethin...

A doctor reviews lab results and says to the patient, "I have good news and bad news"

"Okay," the patient says. "Give me the bad news first."

"Well, it seems like you have just a few days to live."

"Oh my god! But ... but ... what's the good news?"

"This should make you feel a little better: I'm picking up my new Tesla after work!"

I know a guy who writes reviews of hippopotamuses despite the fact he always told me he was against rating animals.

He’s a hippo-crit.

I hate the musical Cats, so I'm loving these reviews

Seeing the movie so panned is just meowsic to my ears.

Why doesn't Yelp remove fake reviews of Indian restaurants?

Because everyone likes a little naan fiction

Why do skydiving companies have excellent reviews?

Because it was awesome for the people who survived

I took an epileptic girl to a rave

I jokingly told her, "I hear this place has rave reviews", but she just rolled her eyes at me.

Why was Tommy Wiseau upset about the reviews of The Room?

He did not receive a hi Mark

You know the razor blade works...

when there are no reviews for it on Amazon.

A german man goes to Poland. Crossing the border, the guard asks reviews his documents.

Pole: Name?

German: Hans Guttermark

Pole: Age?

German: Neunundzwanzig.

Pole: Occupation?

German: *smiles* Nein, just visiting!

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One day a new stage play was released that was supposed to be the #1 comedy of the year.

Unfortunately from the get go it had poor reviews frequently stating that it just wasn't that funny. The writer of the script was at a loss and was getting ready to cancel the show when his friend called.

He told him he had just watched the show and true to the reviews it was pretty terrible...

LPT: Always read product reviews before buying electronics

Like a lot of people, I’ve been drawn in by Amazon to check out their prime day deals. I was browsing through the electronics earlier, looking for a new flash drive for transferring documents between my home and work computers. The primary one I use currently is only USB 2.0 and I figured it might ...

Did you hear about the man who reviews herbs and spices?

I heard he's a seasoned expert.

Three chinese Buddhist monks die and meet Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.

Saint Peter reviews their lives. " Clearly all three of you have been exemplary people but I'm afraid that only Christians are allowed into heaven."

The first monk replies. " Oh no, we all good Christian. Ask any question."
St. Peter considers and says because they have been so good he w...

Syria has a lot of nice reviews

Everyone says they got blown away.

why is the russian roulette safest game ever

because i saw no negative reviews about the game

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A man walks into an eco-friendly sandwich shop.

He takes a few steps in and realizes that the place smells like shit. The man asks a lady sitting down what the smell is all about.

"This place uses cow manure to power the place. It smells bad, but it does help the ecosystem."

The man is confused, but since the place has good food r...

I’ve heard the reviews for the new Grinch movie have been bad.

One reviewer asked theater goers if they would watch The Grinch or a video of a sea sick crocodile, and 90% proffered watching the sea sick crocodile.

I was going to buy a chastity belt until I checked the reviews online.

Customer satisfaction was terrible.

I've heard mixed reviews about cannibalism...

It varies from person to person.

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An engineer dies and goes to heaven...

The engineer found himself at the pearly gates. St. Peter looked him up in the book, and found that he was destined for the other place. The engineer protested that this must be a mistake, and that he had lived a righteous life, going to church every week, being faithful to his wife etc. to no avail...

A hooker gets arrested one night and the next day stands before the judge

The judge reviews the evidence and decides to sentence the hooker to community service for 6 months.

Then the hooker goes "Community service? What do you think I've been doing this whole time?!"

A man walks into a bar... The bartender smiles and says, "What can I get you today, bud?"

The man drunkenly says, "Pint of beer please."

Bartender pours the beer, hands it over and watches as the man gulps it down in one.

"That'll be £4 please, sir."

The man looks at him wide eyed, "I'm not paying for that, you asked me what you could get me so I took up your generou...

Whats the single most important metric in brothel reviews?

Most bang for your buck

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