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Reviews Jokes

Reviews for Hogwarts Legacy are coming in.

Most reviewers are giving it a 9 3/4 depending on the platform.

I stopped paying attention to movie reviews after critics raved about The Green Mile.

Great concept, but terrible execution.

Netflix’s new live-action anime adaption “One Piece” bombs despite majority positive reviews from critics and audiences

The studio blames their poor numbers off the series glorifying piracy.

Reviews are in for the Chinese flag…

Five stars!

Why haven't Aliens visited our Solar System yet? ...

They looked at the reviews...
Only 1 star.

Why doesn't Yelp remove fake reviews of Indian restaurants?

Because everyone likes a little naan fiction

I took an epileptic girl to a rave

I jokingly told her, "I hear this place has rave reviews", but she just rolled her eyes at me.

Did you see the reviews for the restaurant on the moon?

Great view, but no atmosphere.

You know the razor blade works...

when there are no reviews for it on Amazon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All these reviews people are leaving in the comment section of pornhub

I just hope there’s a pretentious ratatouille style porn critic who sees that one video that sends him back to his childhood when he developed his very first kink

Why do skydiving companies have excellent reviews?

Because it was awesome for the people who survived

Syria has a lot of nice reviews

Everyone says they got blown away.

I don't trust a teacher who reviews every single piece of homework they give out

I think they're mass-grading as someone else.

Orion ordered a new belt but forgot to read the reviews

It was only 3 stars.

LPT: Always read product reviews before buying electronics

Like a lot of people, I’ve been drawn in by Amazon to check out their prime day deals. I was browsing through the electronics earlier, looking for a new flash drive for transferring documents between my home and work computers. The primary one I use currently is only USB 2.0 and I figured it might ...

I've heard mixed reviews about cannibalism...

It varies from person to person.

Did you hear about the man who reviews herbs and spices?

I heard he's a seasoned expert.

I hate the musical Cats, so I'm loving these reviews

Seeing the movie so panned is just meowsic to my ears.

A german man goes to Poland. Crossing the border, the guard asks reviews his documents.

Pole: Name?

German: Hans Guttermark

Pole: Age?

German: Neunundzwanzig.

Pole: Occupation?

German: *smiles* Nein, just visiting!

Why was Tommy Wiseau upset about the reviews of The Room?

He did not receive a hi Mark

The reviews for “The Disaster Artist” are coming in

They have received, oh, hi Marks

Whats the single most important metric in brothel reviews?

Most bang for your buck

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m anticipating that people will have a lot of reviews and evaluations next year.

After all, hindsight is 2020.

I’ve heard the reviews for the new Grinch movie have been bad.

One reviewer asked theater goers if they would watch The Grinch or a video of a sea sick crocodile, and 90% proffered watching the sea sick crocodile.

A doctor reviews lab results and says to the patient, "I have good news and bad news"

"Okay," the patient says. "Give me the bad news first."

"Well, it seems like you have just a few days to live."

"Oh my god! But ... but ... what's the good news?"

"This should make you feel a little better: I'm picking up my new Tesla after work!"

I was going to buy a chastity belt until I checked the reviews online.

Customer satisfaction was terrible.

I know a guy who writes reviews of hippopotamuses despite the fact he always told me he was against rating animals.

He’s a hippo-crit.

My father is a 4-star General in the Army.

Which means he has mostly favourable reviews on TripAdvisor.

I just finished the book my friend gifted me on herd mentality.

But I haven't read the reviews yet so I don't know if I like it.

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