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Punching Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We were having sex the other night and to my surprise my wife started punching me in the face.

I have no idea who let her into my office.

Why did Will Smith slap Chris instead of punching him?

Everybody knows paper beats rock

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jokingly punching someone in the balls isn't funny.

Its a dick move

A man was arrested for punching a librarian today.

I hope they throw the book at him.

I saw six men kicking and punching my mother-in-law.

My neighbour said ‘Well, are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, six should be enough.’

A man walks into a bar and there's a long line of people punching each other.

That's the punchline.

A sports store is showing off their new punching bags by having a contest to see who can hit them the hardest.

While everyone is waiting for their turn, St. Peter turns to a drunk and says, "I think I'm in the wrong joke."

The drunk replies, "Nope. Just the wrong punch line."

(OC) What do you call Helen Keller punching someone?

Senseless violence.

A man jumps into a lion's cage to save a 5 year old boy by punching the lion in the nose

Soon, reporters are on the scene.

"Why don't you tell us a bit more about yourself"

"Well, I'm currently a stockbroker, but I got out of the Army only two years ago"

"What do you do for fun"

"I'm an avid fisherman, and I teach rifle safety classes for the NRA"

"Who...

We all know that punching bag arcade game where you try to punch the bag the hardest.

So, I was standing in line to take my turn at the game. When I suddenly realized what a douche I am, putting myself in the punchline of my own joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Bobby was running through the woods

Little Bobby was running through the woods behind his house when the urge to go #2 struck. Bobby did his business behind a tree and carried on his way. The next day, Bobby was out behind his house again when he saw a swarm of flies circling yesterday's droppings. Intrigued, Bobby dropped his pants a...

I’m all for punching not-sees.

Blind people weaken the race.

What’s the difference between putting a microchip in a snail and punching a grasshopper in the face?

One is bugging a slug.
The other is slugging a bug

Surfer saves shark by punching wife in New South Wales.

Beg your pardon. Let me read that again...

A man emptied a punching bag of its content and filled it with Guinness books.

He then proceded to beat all records.

How does a muslim buy a punching bag?

Gets married

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I wear a mask and run around punching women in their breasts.

It’s my secret I dent titties.

You won't go to prison for punching a tortilla...

But you might get a wrap on the knuckles.

Punching bag is hitting me back, Any advice?

Edit: Never-mind we got a divorce

I once saw a group of dudes punching an old man, so I decided to help

He never stood a chance against us

My career as a street fighter didn't last very long...

I broke my hand punching a curb.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm bad at two things: telling jokes, and not getting angry while waiting in queue at orgies...

But I keep punching up the fuck line.

What's the best thing about punching twenty one years olds?

There's twenty of them.

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