Einstein was once travelling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger.

When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn’t find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn’t there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn’t find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn’t find it.

The conductor said, “Dr. Ein...

We all know that punching bag arcade game where you try to punch the bag the hardest.

So, I was standing in line to take my turn at the game. When I suddenly realized what a douche I am, putting myself in the punchline of my own joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We were having sex the other night and to my surprise my wife started punching me in the face.

I have no idea who let her into my office.

What’s the difference between putting a microchip in a snail and punching a grasshopper in the face?

One is bugging a slug.
The other is slugging a bug

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jokingly punching someone in the balls isn't funny.

Its a dick move

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw a kid punching another kid on the elementary school playground and being the only adult around, I had to step in...

Little bastard didn’t stand a chance…

Surfer saves shark by punching wife in New South Wales.

Beg your pardon. Let me read that again...

What do you call a potion of enhanced punching?

Imbibe Check

Do you know the definition of ignorance?

Two guys digging a ditch were doing their ditch digging thing, when one of them looks over at the supervisor sitting under a tree in the shade. The one guy says to the other, "Man, it isn't fair for us to be working so hard in the hot sun, while Mr. Supervisor is sitting doing nothing on the shade....

A politician visits a rural area to gain appeal for the upcoming elections

He schedules a meeting with the local leaders to discuss problems the town has been experiencing so that he could provide help and solutions.

"Governor, our town has been experiencing two big problems," says one of the leaders

The politician pounds his table, "Ok tell me what they are,...

A man jumps into a lion's cage to save a 5 year old boy by punching the lion in the nose

Soon, reporters are on the scene.

"Why don't you tell us a bit more about yourself"

"Well, I'm currently a stockbroker, but I got out of the Army only two years ago"

"What do you do for fun"

"I'm an avid fisherman, and I teach rifle safety classes for the NRA"

"Who...

I saw six men kicking and punching my mother-in-law

My wife said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wear a mask and run around punching women in their breasts.

It’s my secret I dent titties.

Beyonce was just telling me the best way to source product for my new pillow-making side-hustle. I was very surprised when she suggested punching a duck in the face.

I replied - I didn't know you could get down like that.

I’m all for punching not-sees.

Blind people weaken the race.

How does a muslim buy a punching bag?

Gets married

You won't go to prison for punching a tortilla...

But you might get a wrap on the knuckles.

A man emptied a punching bag of its content and filled it with Guinness books.

He then proceded to beat all records.

Ray rice got caught punching his girlfriend in an elevator

It was wrong on so many levels.

Punching bag is hitting me back, Any advice?

Edit: Never-mind we got a divorce

(OC) What do you call Helen Keller punching someone?

Senseless violence.

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