Poker Game Jokes

Two couples were playing poker one evening.

Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor.

When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Les' wife, Sue, wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress!

Shocked by this, Jim, upon trying to sit back up again, hit... read more

A man came home from a poker game late one night and found his hideous harpy of a wife waiting for him with a rolling pin. "Where the hell have you been?" she asked.
"You'll have to pack all your things, dear," he ad-libbed. "I've just lost you in a card game." "How did you manage to do that?" "I... read more

Because it was a cheetah.

I was playing poker with my friends Robin and Drake and some of their distant cousins.

There was this one chick who won almost every hand.

I can't be sure but I suspect fowl play.

His opponent had just raised the stakes.

When somebody's got a big pair showin'.

“What’s the deal?”

Because it’s got a royal flush.

His poker decks.

Some believed that there was a cheetah among them.

everyone threw their hands in

Cheat, cheat, cheat.

He's even more surprised when the dog wins the first hand with a full house, and takes the second with a royal flush.
"This is unreal," Slick says after the dog wins the next two hands. "He's got to be only dog in the world that can play like that."
"Aw, he's not so great," says the host. "The... read more

They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan.

Six retired Floridian men were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Mr. Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing, but standing up.

At the end of the game, Mr. Jones... read more

it's a toilet brush, and a week later, some of the guys invited him him to their weekly poker game. While there, one of them asks, "Hey Ollie, how's that toilet brush, the one you won from us neighbors?" Ollie responds, "Well, it works real good, but I prefer toilet paper."

Apparently that's "super weird" and "completely inappropriate at a poker game"

The Machine Would buzz whenever a lie was told, so the Father decided to test it out at Dinner.
The father asked,

"What did you do with your lunch money today at school,son?"

" I just bought lunch"

The Machine buzzed, and the kid starting sweating as the Mom and Dad looked a... read more

When one of them moved the queen and said "Check"

"What?"

"Check"

"What do you want me to check?"

"No, I'll pick up the check."

"Did you say you needed to get your hearing checked?"

"Sure, let's play checkers!"



And that's how the poker game tu... read more

...and says to his wife, "Pack your bags. I just lost you to Frank in a Poker game."

She indignantly exclaims, "How could you do such a thing?"

"It wasn't easy," he replied. "I had to fold a full house."

A cop pulls over a car during a traffic check and as he's asking the driver for his credentials, he spots three penguins sitting in the backseat.

"Sir, what are you doing with three penguins in your car?" asked the cop.

"That's a funny story." answered the man, "I won these off of a fr... read more