UPJOKE
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Hey Eugene, do you shower after sex?

Well yes Bob, I do.

Great, can you please get laid more often?

Why do hippies love Eugene, OR so much?

It’s hard to find work there.

I went to high school with a guy named Eugene Lipschitz, but he hated his name so after high school he changed it...

...to John Lipschitz

Upon hearing that my donor is in Eugene, I proceeded to inform my wife that, "My heart is in Oregon."

She replied, "I know what a heart is!"

Mikhail Kalashnikov visits the United States (based on true story)

For the first time, the legendary father of the AK-47 visits the United States. On his first day there he goes to a shooting range and meets up with Eugene Stoner, the father of America's M16. They discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each of their creations to which Eugene Says:

"My ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jean suspects her husband is gay

She confronts him about it one day and asks him, “Do you even love me?”

“Of course I do! I love you, Jean!”

She starts crying and screams “I KNEW IT! WHO THE FUCK IS EUGENE?!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walked into a bar and asked the barkeeper if they had prostitutes.

The barkeeper said: „No we don‘t, but we have Eugene.“

The man asked if he was serious and the barkeeper answered that Eugene would provide a full service for just 100$.

The man thought what the heck and decided to go for it.

He asked the barkeeper if he just should give 100$ t...

Fifty bucks is fifty bucks...

Eugene and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Eugene would say,

'Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter'

Edna always replied,

'I know Eugene, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'

One year Eugene and Edna ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man has been fucking his favorite goat

For the past couple months he's been falling in love and fucking his favorite goat from the herd. One day he decides to finally bring the goat into his home.

He shows the goat around the house for awhile and decides to show the bedroom where his wife is resting. The man drags the goat up the...

This new credit card I applied for allows me to pick the security question they ask me and the answer I give them

So whenever I call them they have to ask me, "What are you wearing?" and I have to answer them, "I don't think that's appropriate!"

Credit: Eugene Mirman from "The Absurd Nightclub Comedy of Eugene Mirman"

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