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Paychecks Jokes

Where do beavers go to cash their paychecks?

The riverbank.

Used to know a guy who worked at the GAP. Spent half his paychecks buying clothes there.

He really sold himself shorts.

A psychologist visits an engineer in his hospital bed

The guy had just jumped off a bridge. The psychologist says, "Hey there Ahmed, I'm Dr. Adams, how you feeling today?" And the engineer replies, "In pain, but lucky to be alive, I guess."

Dr. Adams wants to help, so she asks the engineer about his life. The engineer tells her he came from Liby...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Catholic, Lutheran, and a Jew are having dinner...

They start talking about how much they give for their weekly offerings.

The Lutheran says, "I take $100 out of every paycheck and give it as my offering."

Both other men agree, "Good man, good man."

The Catholic responds, "I take 50% out of all my paychecks and give it as my of...

Two old men finally retire...

They've had a hard life, both widowed many years ago and their children have all grown up and gone their own way. They decide that it would be INCREDIBLE to have a night on the town like the old days, a proper guys night out. They draw their final paychecks and proceed to get motherlessly drunk in a...

The camping story

A couple of years ago I went out camping in the woods with a few of my friends. It was a dark and stormy night, and we felt very alone in our little tent, so we started telling scary stories.

I described how the hills we were in used to be coal mining country, and the coal mines were dark and...

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