UPJOKE
credit cardmastercardcashchequewalletbank accountmaestrochecking accountswitchcardunited kingdombillfoldbankprepaidpayment

My debit card was declined at the local Marijuana dispencery today

Turns out the card was not linked to a joint account

Accidentally swiped my donor card instead of my debit card today...

my groceries ended up costing me an arm and a leg

I got kicked out of the grocery store while trying to pay with a debit card.

The terminal instruction read "strip down, facing cashier".

I locked eyes for dominance.

I was having a hard time remembering my PIN on my debit card....

So I changed it to 0911. That way I never forget.

Ever since these new chipped debit cards came out.

I've never had so many women say "ok now put it in."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A shaggy looking old lady goes into her bank and asks the teller...

"Can I please withdraw $10 from my account?" while handing over her debit card.

The teller, annoyed at such a transaction request, rudely tells the old lady "Go to the ATM, stop holding up the line for $10."

The old lady then says "Okay, then I want to withdraw $10k from my account."...

One day at Macy's...

The store manager was giving final instruction to the new sales clerk before sending him out onto the floor for the first time.

Said the manager to the clerk, “The most important thing to remember is that we NEVER tell a customer that we don’t have it. Times are tough, and we can’t afford to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know you're a Minnesotan Abroad if

You get weird looks if you ask for your pizza to be cut into squares.

You've gotten strange looks when you whipped out your Super America fuel card, your TCF Bank debit card, your Dunn Brothers gift card, or White Castle refillable cup at a gas station.

You're the only one in a t-shirt...

A New Metal has been added to Chemistry

Name: Woman
Symbol: Wm
Atomic mass: Light when first found... tends to get heavier with time.


**PHYSICAL PROPERTIES**

- Boils at any time
- Can freeze at any time
- Melts if treated with love
- Very Bitter if Mishandled


**CHEMICAL PROPERTIES** ...

When the cashier said, "strip down, facing me"

How was I to know she meant my debit card?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mom is setting up a chore-list for her kids...

She gets halfway through the month and realizes she has just one sticky note left. With plenty of time before she has to pick up the kids from school she decides to head over to office depot.
She arrives and is greeted by the doorman, Tom. Very polite local who she went to school with, tom is a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pull out and pray isn't just my preferred method of birth control

It's also how i use my debit card

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman enter a strip club...

They immediately sit in front of the front podium just when the club's top performer Chasity comes out to perform.

She bends over in front of the three men. The Scotsman pulls out a £10 note and sticks it on on her left arse cheek.

The Englishman pulls out £20 and sticks it on her righ...

Actually, Frankenstein is the name of the doctor.

The real monster is the person who waits for everything to be rung up before they start looking for their debit card.

I see a border patrol car drive by...

So I ask my mexican co-woker if he has his visa. He looks at me cofused for a minute then says "no no I only have debit card" (true story)

Confusion at McDonalds

When I got ready to pay for my breakfast, the cashier said "Strip down, facing me". I did just that. When the shrieking had died down, I found out she was referring to my debit card.

A teen got a fake ID and went to try it out.

He picks out a 6-pack and walks nervously to the register. The cashier rings up the beer, "$9.88," and eyes the stubble on the teens face, "ID?"

Moment of truth; time to see if this is the second best $50 the teen ever sent to a Chinese website. The cashier takes the ID from the teen and flip...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.