Today we honor a patron saint by drinking ourselves into an unintelligible stupor.

Or as the Irish call it...breakfast.

Who is the patron saint of homeless dogs and cats?

St. Ray

Who is the patron saint of security cameras?

St Francis of a CCTV

Who is the patron saint of Pizza and Bread?

Jesus Crust

Every year on St Patrick’s Day Saint Patrick comes down out of Heaven and goes to an Irish pub.

This past St Patrick’s day he goes to Murphy’s local pub. Murphy walked in a see St Patrick sitting in the corner of the pub with his big green bishops hat, his green robes and his staff and he asks the bartender “Hey, is that St Patrick sitting in the corner?”

And the bartender says “Well ye...

St. Atue

The patron saint of standing still for long periods of time...

O’Malley is leaving his favourite bar when he is run over by a bus. He gets to the gates of heaven and St Peter tells him he cannot enter unless he passes a test.

O’Malley agrees to try as he never was the brightest bulb in the box.

St Peter decides to go easy on him. “What has five fingers and is made of black leather?” he asks.
O’Malley scratches his head, thinks hard and finally gives up.
“It’s a glove,” says St Peter. “

Let’s try again...

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