Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

JOE BIDEN:...

I was trying to think of past Republicans similar to Marjorie Taylor Greene

But they just Palin comparison.

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Roses are red, Sarah Palin is Alaskan, but she didn't kill her husband, unlike

Carole fucking Baskin

Which state was Sarah Palin governor of again?

"Alaska."

No, don't worry, I'll ask her myself.

What do Iron man and Sarah Palin have in common?

They both had a little Downey inside of them.

What's Sarah Palins favorite water sport?

Parah Salin.

Trump should appoint Sarah Palin as the Administrator of NASA.

I know, I know, I could've stopped it there, but here's the punchline:

I mean, we must be fair and give her some consideration, because she does make a good argument: she can see the moon from her house.

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Bristol Palin called those who continue objecting to Trump "sissies".

She was going to call them "pussies" but Trump had already grabbed that one.

Why did the FBI go to question Sarah Palin while investigating Trump's collusion?

Because she can see Russia from her house.

Remember when Sarah Palin used to be the craziest person in politics?

Those were good times.

Sarah Palin and Donald Trump served PB&J sandwiches at his last political rally

because if you go to one of those, you're not allergic to nuts

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Trump and The Queen

Donald Trump met with the Queen of England, and he asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"

"Well," replied the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Trump frowned, and...

A space mission sent from Earth had landed on a distant planet.

The purpose of the mission was to meet with another intelligent species who called themselves "ishen".

Another such mission had taken place a year before, and Michael Chapman, the leader of the mission, had decided to stay on the planet with the ishen to learn their ways.

The ishen pri...

One of the Monty Python team has invented an unmanned aircraft that does sky-writing that’s spelled the same backwards as forwards...

It’s a Palin drone...

Wars in the Iberian Peninsula

Having forged a marriage alliance, the kingdoms of Castille and Aragon formed Spain, a united Catholic front to drive the Moors outside of Iberia.

One of the more important battles in the subsequent Reconquista was the siege of Cordoba. Though historians debate what exact tactics the command...

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"Angry Notes" Courtesy of Saurabh on Fropki.com

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get it up. Enjoy dreaming about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

D...

Do you spell it Palindrome or Palendrome?

Cause I've heard it both ways.

Topical Jokes (5/25-5/26)

Hey, sorry for the tardiness! Been on the road lately. Here's some jokes to cap up the last couple days.

Governor Christie met with Snooki over the weekend, but things got a tad awkward when Christie licked his lips and asked, "But seriously, are you actually a meatball?"

Big Catholic ...

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What's harder to pull out of than Iraq?

Bristol Palin.

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