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Hilary Jokes

Cheer up Hilary!

At least you won't have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under.

Hilary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected in to office.

Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted.

Hilary Clinton dies

While walking down the street one day a corrupt Hillary Clinton was tragically hit by a car and died.

Her soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high offici...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Bill Clinton say to Hilary after sex?

I'll be home in 20 minutes

I donated $10 to Bernie's campaign

Don't worry ladies, I also donated $7.80 to Hilary.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Barack Obama, the Pope, Hilary Clinton and a boy scout are on a plane...

The plane is about to crash when they realize there are only 3 parachutes.

The first passenger, President Obama said “I am the president of the United States, as much as it will haunt me for the rest of my life, I must insist I take a parachute. I have a great responsibility, being the leader...

The Pope and Hilary Clinton were on the same stage at the Yankee Stadium in front of a giant crowd...

The Pope leans towards Hilary and says, "Do you know with one wave of my hand I can make this entire crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"

Hilary said, " I seriously doubt that. ...

Hilary Clinton will make the best president

She will save us 25% in salary right from the start.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't you think it's unfair that some people get to be celebrities, but their siblings remain in the background?

I mean, everyone has heard of Hilary Swank, but not her sister, Gloria.

Damn girl, are you Hilary Clinton's email server?

Damn girl, are you Hilary Clinton's email server?
.
Because your incredibly insecure
.
Hahaha

I hope Hilary gets elected.

So taxpayers can save 23% on paying the presidential salary.

Why would Hilary Clinton as president be good for the economy?

We would only need to pay her 78 cents on the dollar.

If Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump fell off a cliff who would be saved?

America

Hilary Clinton is pregnant....

Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find outthat she's pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator ofNew York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on rig...

Tom Brady, Hilary Clinton, and Urban Meyer walk into a bar.

None of them can get an Uber home because they've all destroyed their cell phones.

I'm about as excited for hilary to be president

I'm about as excited for hilary to be president, as Bill is when he sees her naked.

If Hilary and Trump are stranded on a raft in the ocean, who survives?

America. America survives.

You'll never believe what Hilary did in 2003

She starred in the Lizzie McGuire Movie.

How does Hilary Clinton clean her glasses?

By wiping the mainframe.

What's the only thing that doesn't make Hilary suck?

Bill

Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump in a hot air balloon

Hilary invites Donald on a bury the hatchet secret meeting before the knives come out in the run up. A little while into the trip she springs a surprise on the other President hopeful..

" So Trump.. I would like you to say hello to our pilot, Pedro who happens to be Mexican, and my assistant,...

Donald Trump is going to demand to see Hilary Clinton's birth certificate...

to make sure she is a woman.

What footwear does Hilary Clinton wear to the beach?

Flip flops or scandals!

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Have You Heard About the new KFC Hilary Clinton Special.

its 2 small breasts, 2 large thighs and 2 left wings

if donald and hilary are together on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it sinks, who survives?

America

Does Hilary's scandal compare to Bill's?

I'd say it's close, but no cigar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hilary Clinton is touring a hospital in Upstate New York...

When the hospital director and her passed the room of a man who was furiously masturbating. "What is the meaning of this?" she demanded.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Clinton, but that man has a rare disorder where his testicles swell up with semen rapidly and he must ejaculate a few times a day or risk se...

Trump wants to make America great again, Hilary wants to make America whole again.

Together, they can make America a great hole.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I feel like this election ended up being a good thing for Hilary Clinton.

At least now she knows what it feels like to get fucked by the president.

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