UPJOKE
squidcephalopodcrabmollusccamouflagecuttlefishdevilfishtentacleinvertebratekrakenjellyfishcirrinaordersharkspecies

Octopuses Jokes

What do you call two octopuses that look exactly the same?

Itenticle.

Octopuses Garden

An octopus walks into a bar and sees a band playing in the corner, composed of those bar-room heroes, the Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman.
He walks up and says “I’m the best musician in the world. I can play any instrument you like”.
So the English guy goes “Alright then. Play th...

What trophy do octopuses win as the grand prize in the cephalopod racing tournament?

The Suction Cup

How did the octopuses win the football match?

Ten tackles

What do humans and octopuses have in common?

Two sets of forearms

What game do octopuses play at Hogwarts?

Squiddich

If octopuses have twins.

Does that make them "i-tentical"

Why are octopuses so dangerous?

They're heavily armed.

What kind of computer problems do octopuses(octopi) have?

Tentacle difficulties.
7 Y.O. Daughter and I just made this up together. I realize it might already exist out there in this big world, but we just had to share.

Ordering octopus at a restaurant

A man goes into a restaurant and he orders octopus from the seafood menu. The waiter says that's all right, but he has to warn the guest, it takes four hours to prepare.

"Why does it take so long to prepare octopus? Is it hard to cook?"
"Not really, but the octopuses keep turning down the ...

A man meets his friend.

He says to him: "You won't believe what I saw today!"
,,What?" replies his friend.
" I saw twin octopuses".
"How do you know they were twins" his friend wonders.
The man replies:" Well they were a tentacle".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God creating critters

Angel: *Hey God, you gotta minute?*

God: *What's Zzzupp bobby, my compadre!*

Angel: *Its Jose, but whatever, can we go over your most recent animal submission*

God: *Yeah, but hurry, Fox 911 is about to come on*

Angel: *Ummm ok, 8 legs, mysterious, can be poisonous, eats ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.