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Plankton Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Moby Dick goes to a bar

And swims up to the bartender and orders his usual, a bucket of plankton. The shark bartender prepares his order and slides it over to the whale at the bar but notices the whale start eating without saying thanks.

“Hey, you’re welcome!” yells the bartender

A couple seconds goes by an...

Did you hear about the Spongebob and Jojo crossover?

Everyone's favourite part was when plankton said, "You thought it was plankton, but it was me, copepodio!"

Why did Karen marry Plankton?

Because now she can always speak to the manager.

What is plankton’s favourite sport?

Formula 1

Did you know that the seven main characters on SpongeBob SquarePants represent the seven deadly sins?

SpongeBob:

Patrick:

Squidward:

Sandy:

Plankton:

Gary:

Mr. Krabs: Lust, sloth, wrath, pride, envy, gluttony, and greed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chemistry Joke

So a Physicist, Chemist and Biologist walk down the beach to the ocean. They stand together and watch the waves as the water splashes up to meet their feet. "Look at those waves, the shear crushing weight of the water powered by tidal forces! I must study them further!" Says the Physicist, as he wal...

Why does Plankton's wife always complain to him?

Because that's what happens when Karen speaks to the manager.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A whale walks into a bar...

The bartender immediately stops the whale as he enters. Holding both hands up, the bartender begins shouting,

"Woah, woah there, whale! What are you doing here?! This is a bar! This is no place for whales!"

The bartender notices this upright whale is wearing a top hat and carrying a S...

(Told by a 7 year old reading me a joke off of her SpongeBob Gogurt) "What is Plankton's grandma's favorite type of pudding?"

"Not labeled for individual sale!!!!!"

I bought a life size 3d model of plankton from spongebob.

4days later I got an empty box full of bubble wrap. I still don't know where plankton is.

What did the depressed plankton do?

It krilled iself!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why had the two algae never had sex?

Because they had a planktonic relationship.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Frank and Sally the Whales [long]

So two whales, Frank and Sally are swimming through the ocean eating various fish and plankton when they see a boat coming up on them.

Frank looks at the boat and says to Sally, "That is the whaling boat that killed uncle Sal."

Sally, skeptical, said "How do you know for sure?"

...

What is the difference between Sea Plankton and the US Astronaut Corps? Sea Plankton can get to the International Space Station without the help of the Russians.

I am not sure if this is funny or not, but it is ridiculous, AND it is TRUE so maybe it is funny! Actually, I think it is both funny AND sad... regardless, it's my joke! (reference: http://www.space.com/26888-sea-plankton-space-station-russian-claim.html)

Why did the Crab not share any plankton with his friends?

Because he was shellfish.

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