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Crustacean Jokes

What's the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean.

What do you call someone impersonating a crustacean?

A shrimposter.

What do you call a crustacean who's always thinking of himself?

Shellfish!

How do crustaceans bulk up?

They crab load.

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

Where do crustaceans get their adult content?

PronHub

I just got done watching 3 movies about tiny crustaceans.

It was a krillogy.

Why did the body builder go to the crustacean church?

He heard that it was a good source of mussel mass

Why was the teenage crustacean upset?

He couldn't find a date for his high school prawn.

Do you know what you call an air tight crustacean?

A hermetic crab

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

4 Tiny Jokes

What do you call someone who empathizes and feels badly for the plight of small crustaceans?

A shrimpathizer.

What do you call someone who uses machines to emulate the sounds of small crustaceans?

A shrimpesizer.

What do you call someone who chases after the affection of ...

A father and son are watching a documentary about evolution...

...the boy had already watched this episode and was viewing it again carefully as he found it a bit confusing as to what the different prehistoric animals were evolving into. He recalled this episode ended with an ant-like insect becoming a crustacean-like animal. By the end he said 'Ep seen, did an...

Today I watched a documentary about crustaceans and I saw a crab take another crab's food...

...crabs can be so shellfish right?

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What do you call a crab holding a basket of tampons?

A crustacean menstruation station.

What do you call a lobster with a nutcracker?

A castration crustacean.

What's the difference between a Coral Reef and Tienenman Square?

One's full of crustaceans and one's full of crushed Asians.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An e-girl hit my dms and asked if I wanted to buy nudes.

I said nah I'm broke I don't have any money. She said cmon they're really cheap. And I said no Im still broke and she said pleeeeeeeaaaase it's only 3.50 and then I realized that this e-girl was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the protozoic era. I said dammit Loch Ness monster I ain't...

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What's the difference between Korean women with large breasts and lobsters?

One group is Busty asians and the other is Crustaceans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a Japanese Restaurant and a Japanese car accident?

One has lots of crustaceans, the other has lots of crushed Asians.

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