What do you call a crustacean that’s bad at pitching?

A lobster, but what it really boils down to is his claws being tied.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the difference between a lobster with big tits and a barnacle covered bus stop?

Ones's a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus station

Have you seen my crustacean girlfriend?

I lobster.

What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?

One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.

What did the young, privileged, and naive crustacean say to the other crustacean?

“I don’t sea shells”

What's the difference is between a lobster with breast implants and a filthy bus depot?

One is a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus-station!
*edited because I screwed up my original punchline...

A clown bets an old man $100 he can make him laugh. Man says "Sure, it won't happen"

Clown asks: "What do you call someone posing as a fake Italian chef? An im-pasta"

Man doesn't laugh

Clown asks: "What do you get when you cross a tiger and a bear? A tiger and a bear seeking revenge."

No response

Clown asks: "Which super hero asks the most questions? Wond...

Today I watched a documentary about crustaceans and I saw a crab take another crab's food...

...crabs can be so shellfish right?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the difference between a Japanese Restaurant and a Japanese car accident?

One has lots of crustaceans, the other has lots of crushed Asians.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

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EDIT: A collection of other [spoonerisms](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism) for your reading pleasure. And stop giving me sh... about not fu... cussing...

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

What do you call a crab holding a basket of tampons?

A crustacean menstruation station.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Some advice

I do want to apologize in advance if this is in the wrong section of Reddit, but I really felt I needed to get it off my chest. But anyways, as a teacher, let me tell you a little story...

I had a female student (I'm a male), who was rather attractive. Not gonna lie. But I would never pursue ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A crab, a lobster, a dolphin...

and a Japanese dude run over by a truck. Which one doesn't match up?

[The dolphin. The other three are all crustaceans/crushed Asians](#s)

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them.

"Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up".

Sure, they said, you’re welcome.

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer,

"What do you do for a living?"

I’m a h...

An illustrious Count, Wictor Oblodowsky, agrees to conduct Beethoven's 9th Symphony in a Baltimore gym.

He's hesitant at first. He'd only been to America once before, and it was a favor for a friend. The oboist in his orchestra kindly loaned him the first season of The Wire, but the Count never watched it, as he'd never gotten around to buying a DVD player.

After an uneventful flight and some t...