Crustacean Jokes - 19 Hilarious Crustacean Jokes

What's the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean.

upvote

downvote

report

What do you call someone impersonating a crustacean?

A shrimposter.

upvote

downvote

report

What do you call a crustacean who's always thinking of himself?

Shellfish!

upvote

downvote

report

How do crustaceans bulk up?

They crab load.

upvote

downvote

report

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

upvote

downvote

report

Where do crustaceans get their adult content?

PronHub

upvote

downvote

report

I just got done watching 3 movies about tiny crustaceans.

It was a krillogy.

upvote

downvote

report

Why did the body builder go to the crustacean church?

He heard that it was a good source of mussel mass

upvote

downvote

report

Why was the teenage crustacean upset?

He couldn't find a date for his high school prawn.

upvote

downvote

report

Do you know what you call an air tight crustacean?

A hermetic crab

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

4 Tiny Jokes

What do you call someone who empathizes and feels badly for the plight of small crustaceans?

A shrimpathizer.

What do you call someone who uses machines to emulate the sounds of small crustaceans?

A shrimpesizer.

What do you call someone who chases after the affection of ...

A father and son are watching a documentary about evolution...

...the boy had already watched this episode and was viewing it again carefully as he found it a bit confusing as to what the different prehistoric animals were evolving into. He recalled this episode ended with an ant-like insect becoming a crustacean-like animal. By the end he said 'Ep seen, did an...

upvote

downvote

report

Today I watched a documentary about crustaceans and I saw a crab take another crab's food...

...crabs can be so shellfish right?

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a crab holding a basket of tampons?

A crustacean menstruation station.

What do you call a lobster with a nutcracker?

A castration crustacean.

upvote

downvote

report

What's the difference between a Coral Reef and Tienenman Square?

One's full of crustaceans and one's full of crushed Asians.

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An e-girl hit my dms and asked if I wanted to buy nudes.

I said nah I'm broke I don't have any money. She said cmon they're really cheap. And I said no Im still broke and she said pleeeeeeeaaaase it's only 3.50 and then I realized that this e-girl was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the protozoic era. I said dammit Loch Ness monster I ain't...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Korean women with large breasts and lobsters?

One group is Busty asians and the other is Crustaceans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a Japanese Restaurant and a Japanese car accident?

One has lots of crustaceans, the other has lots of crushed Asians.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.