This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If the Kraken was white like Moby Dick, it would be

The Kraker

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a kraken and a prostitute have in common?

Both of their bellies are full of seamen.

You know what a krakens favorite meal is?

Fish and ships

Sidney Powell was meant to release the Kraken

...I think she smoked it by accident

How could they tell the kraken was a girl...

By how much seamen she swallowed

why did the squid get expelled from school

For kraken jokes

The Kraken: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease .

Landlord : Re-lease the Kraken!

What did Perseus say after he killed Medusa?

Let's get Kraken.

What is the Kraken's go-to comfort food?


Why did Davey Jones get into comedy?

Because he was good at kraken jokes

Taking my kraken out for a swim. Darn thing gets loose again.

Re-leash the kraken!

It's a little know fact that the Kraken cannot be owned, only rented.

Re-lease the Kraken.

"Sir! The company we hire the abomination from has sent an e-mail saying the year is nearly up and we need to sign a new contract. We need it to complete your most excellent and evil scheme. Should I agree to the new contract?"

"Yes! Yessssssss! Re-lease the Kraken!"

What does the boss octopus say before work?

Let’s get kraken.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Pirate walks into a bar

(The funniest joke my friend told me, hope it hasn't been posted here before)

A Pirate enters a bar and goes to the bartender to ask for a drink.

The bartender eyes the pirate and asks him how he ended up looking like that.

"Ah you must mean the peg-leg, me lad. 'Tis a fine tale...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chef: "How about you get to work on making the octopus balls (Takoyaki)."

Me: "Sounds good, let's get Kraken"

I had a joke about Sidney Powell but everytime I tried to tell it

I started Kraken up

Did you know mythological creatures have their own dentist's office?

It's true, I saw it today and they were suuuuuuper busy! The waiting room was packed, and every time the orderly would come out to call in another patient, the half-man-half-horse would get all excited; "is it my turn now? oh, pick me, pick me!" and all that jazz. Of course, every time it was actual...

What did the sailor say to the sea monster before it destroyed his ship?

"What's Kraken?

I just heard a really good joke about a giant squid

It's Kraken me up

What do pirate parrots say?

Polly wanna kraken!

(Amongst a large array other parrot-related sounds)

What do you call it when cephalopods start becoming more strict about things?

Kraken down.

You should never take what a sea monsters says seriously.

They're always Kraken jokes.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.