Obligated Jokes

According to the Geneva Convention, prisoners have a right to hot food!

I mean, I know we can dance if we want to

**Bert and Ernie had worked together as radio hosts for twenty years.**

They traded jokes, played pop music and generally made people's lives a touch brighter as they trundled to work.

In one of the breaks they received a Fax. Ernie picked up the page and was in shock. Ernie silentl... read more

ChatKGB - it's asking all the questions, and you are obligated to answer them

I feel like my freedoms are being taken away!
Wake up!

When the jar was opened, a genie came out and said to them, "You have freed me from my jar. For the rest of your time on this island, I am obligated to grant each of you one wish per year. But no wishing anyone, including yourself, off the island."

"In that case," said Al, "I wish for 365 boo... read more

The third guy ducks.


(I know this joke is mediocre at best, but I found it on a post-it note stuck a trash can on my college campus a few days ago and felt obligated to share it.)

It’s the only time they can call or raise anyone without feeling obligated to follow through.

... who traded his soul to become real hair?

There will be hell, toupee.

(Made this up a while ago. Terrible joke and I'm almost sure it's been made before, but I felt obligated to share it.)

He’s down on his luck and needs money in the worst way. The devil appears to him and says I can give you all the money you need, just sell me your soul and your money problems will be gone. The devil even promised him not to take his soul for another ten years.

The man decides to make the dea... read more

I told her that's good because she won't get two tired.

(True story. My daughter does take circus class at the local gymnastics place, and she did walk out with a unicycle given by her instructor. I was obligated to respond with the proper level of dad-jokery.)

A married couple was invited to a wedding that neither of them wanted to go to, but they felt obligated to go because the man getting married worked at the same firm as the husband.

They were asking each other what they should bring as a wedding gift, when the wife had a great idea: they cou... read more

The nurse says to him
"I’m afraid to tell you that you’ve been in a coma for almost 25 years. Both of your parents have passed away in that time and the rest of your friends and lovers have moved on, believing you would never recover. You no longer have a home or any possessions. The only reason ... read more

....and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide.

The pharmacist asks, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The woman then explained she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That... read more

And they happen to see the brunette's boyfriend buying flowers. The brunette says, "Aww man. He's out buying me flowers again. Sigh, this sucks." The blonde replies, "What's the matter? I thought you liked flowers? Last time you said it was a nice, thoughtful, out-of-the-blue gesture?" "Oh no, that'... read more