Onions

There's an onion, and he's studying law at a prestigious college. He's in his third year, and after a particularly tough day, he gets an invite from one of his onion-friends to a party they're having that evening. Being tired and weary, the lawyer-onion isn't sure whether to go, but decides he needs...

When I was Young

I once caught my grandfather sprinkling gunpowder onto his grits one Sunday morning. I asked him why he would do that.

He explained, "Kid, my father did this, and his father did this. If you do this as well, every day, it'll help keep you hale and hearty well into your golden years."

I...

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Books Never Written

Hey guys, don't know if you're familiar with these kind of jokes, but they were my favorite growing up, so I thought I'd post a bunch of the here. They're pretty corny, but I hope you enjoy!

*Take A Breather* by Justin Hale

*How to Become Famous* by Anonymous

*Living Long* by Di...

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Once upon a time.....

.......there lived a beautiful Queen with large, beautiful, queenly breasts. Gerald the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.

One day Gerald revealed his secret desire to hi...

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Three criminals meet in a restaurant...

Three career criminals, each of them burglars, were meeting in a restaurant to discuss recent developments in their work.

The first thief shook his head a little bit, giving his water glass a forlorn frown. "The market for gems has dried up. What little I manage to get my hands on is hard to ...

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