This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Did you hear about the guy who masturbated at the newsstand?

It was all over the papers.

Bill Clinton is working at a newsstand. A woman asks him "How can I buy the New York Times?"

He replies "Ask my wife. She'll tell you how you do it.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man gets a facelift...

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales Clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 35," was ...

Trump and Putin...

...get cryogenically frozen after their respective deaths, and are re-woken 200 years later.

They decide to take a walk through the city together. Suddenly, Putin stops and bursts out laughing, pointing at the headline at a newsstand: "USA in worst financial crisis in history"


This economy is getting so bad, I had to pose nude for a magazine

I'm never going back to *that* newsstand!

-Emo Philips

I posed naked for a magazine today

Although from the reaction I got, I think the newsstand owner would have preferred money