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Brochure Jokes

Boss asked me to swap the first half of the brochure with the second.

I was like, sure bro.

Dude 1: Hey, bro?

Dude 2: Yeah bro?
Dude 1: Can you pass me that pamphlet?
Dude 2: Brochure

My wife gave me a brochure on anger management the other day.

I lost it.

Bro, do you want this pamphlet?

Brochure.

Two bros were chillin’ at a table together…

One bro says to the other bro: “Bro, can you hand me that pamphlet?”

Bro 2: What did you say, bro?

Bro 1: Bro, can you hand me that pamphlet??

Bro 2: Hand you the what, bro?

Bro 1: Bro! The Phamphlet!

Bro 2: Brochure

I looked in the brochure to see if there were any natural, water-based passages,

but it didn't give me a strait answer.

“Well - Mrs. Smith, it would seem that you're pregnant.”

“Sweet Jesus, that's wonderful, I'm pregnant, Doctor?!”

“Oh not at all, but at first glance, it would certainly seem so. Here's our weight loss brochure.”

I used to sell security alarms door to door, and I was really good at it.

If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.

How do you respond when someone asks to read your magazine?

"Brochure."

My brother asked if i could help him come up with a way to advertise the new vacation resort he was opening up.

I said "Brochure."

My mom was checking out some glossy brochures to travel to a place she’s never been where she’d be waited on hand and foot 24/7 with all inclusive dining and entertainment

I agreed and put her in a nursing home

Bro, can you help me name these information pamphlets?

Brochure.

Yoga class instructor: Welcome. Uhh why are you carrying a lightsaber?

Me: Misread the brochure I have.

Two guys sitting next to eachother

Guy 1: bro can you pass me a drink
Guy 2: ok bro
Guy 1: and can you pass me the chips
Guy 2: bro fine
Guy 1: also can you pass me the leaflet
Guy 2: brochure

At the dentist.

Was at the dentist this morning and there was a BMW brochure in the waiting room for some reason so I had a leaf through it and I was surprised to learn that indicators come as standard on them.

What did the frat guy say when the other frat guy offered him a pamphlet?

Brochure.

When I was younger I used to sell home security alarms door to door.

I was always selling the most security alarms out of anyone else I worked with. "What's your secret?". If I went to call on a house and nobody was home, then I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.

A blonde woman goes to buy a lottery ticket.

She has been buying tickets twice a day from the same store for the past 5 years. One day the cashier was a bit concerned and handed over to her a "Gambling Help" brochure.

 


The lady kindly handed it back, "Boy, I know I haven't won much and that it's all based on luck. I...

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Man wants his penis size reduced

A man with a 50 inch penis went to a doctor, and asked: "Doctor, is there anything you can do about...this...thing?"

The docor gave him a brochure for plastic surgery, but the man quickly put it away and said: "Sorry, but isn't there another way? I'm really afraid of surgeries."

"Well,...

Smokey the Bear was relaxing in his new house.

He'd just moved to the neighborhood, and was enjoying retirement after years of working for the U.S. Forest Service. He was sitting in his favorite easy chair, reading a particularly engaging book, when the doorbell rang.

Smokey sighed, set the book face down (his sister was always so mad at ...

So a realtor is passing out information for a house as potential buyers are walking in at an Open House

A guy says "Hey, can I see one of those pamphlets?"

The realtor says "Brochure"

The inventor of the Big Mac died the other day....

His family ordered the most lavish coffin they could find in the brochure, but were extremely disappointed when it turned out to be nothing like the picture.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Golf on Christmas Morning

Four old-timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed, and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round.

His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let's do it! We'll m...

[L] My friend Robert took some stuff to the dry cleaner the other day.

My friend Robert (Bob, if you want) took some stuff to the dry cleaner the other day. Nothing out of the ordinary: some shirts, a jacket, and his favorite pair of shorts. Now, you should know: Robert isn’t the fittest of my friends — he’s what we affectionately refer to as “husky”, and IMO the short...

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I went to the doctor for some help dealing with my premature ejaculation.

He gave me some advice, a few brochures to read, and a prescription for some medication that might help.

Two weeks later, he called me to ask how it was going.

I said, "It's still touch and go."

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An Old Lady Checked Into A Motel on her 70th birthday.

She was a bit lone and thought,

“I’ll call one of those men you see advertised in the brochures for escorts and sensual massages.”

She looked through the phone book, found a full-page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony – a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing i...

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Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all ot...

A king is looking for a new chief advisor.

His choices are a physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer.
His test is simple: Whoever can determine the volume of a red rubber ball will be the new chief advisor, provided his explanation makes sense to the king, and that the king can trust the calculation.

The physicist goes firs...

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SOFTWARE UPGRADE NOTICE

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources.
No mention of this p...

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