Comic Book Jokes - 20 Hilarious Comic Book Jokes

My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.

I had to draw my own conclusions.

My life is like an over produced comic book series

It's just one issue after another, and the plot doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

What is a pirate's favorite comic book company?

You may've thought it was Marrrrrvel, but his first love is always DC.

Snoopy writes a Batman comic book.

"He is the Dark and Stormy Knight..."

Which chemical element could be someones comic book fetish?

Manganese.

I use to go to a comic book shop that only sold books with female leads;

The owner was apparently arrested for being a heroine dealer.

I don't really like comic books

They have too many issues

Who Is Jay Gatsby's Favorite Comic Book Character?

Deadpool.

I buy every comic book I see. . .

My friends say I have lots of issues.

Why don't you see a lot of bars in comic books?

Because they look sketchy

My relationship with a comic book collector didn't turn out well

They had a lot of issues

Plot devices have Mary Sues, comic books have Gary Stus...

Hollywood has Terry Crews.

Back in my day, I could go to the store with a dollar and come back with a bag of chips and a comic book.

Now, they've got cameras

What do comic book collectors use in their hair when they shower?

Mint conditioner.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a comic book hero that is constantly hooked on having sex with female superheroes?

A heroine addict.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The usual priest if off, so a stand in takes his spot

All is going well until a woman confesses to giving a man a blowjob. The priest doesn't know what to do so he nips out of the confessional booth to ask for help. He runs into a choir boy and asks him "what does the usual priest give for a blow job?"

The choir boy replies "normally a bag of sw...

When is was a kid, mum used to send me the shops wtih 50p. i could come home with a chicken, 2 pints of milk, 6 eggs, 2 packs of bacon and a comic book...

You can't do this nowadays though because of CCTV.

Did you hear that the director to Pulp Fiction is making a movie based off of a Belgian comic book where the main character gets deathly ill with an incredibly infectious disease and therefore has to cut off all contact with the outside world?

It's "Quentin Tarantino's *Tintin's Quarantino*".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 boys find a 5 dollar bill on the sidewalk

3 boys find a 5 dollar bill on the sidewalk and try to decide how to spend it.
The first boy says "we should go buy a comic book". The other 2 decide against it, realizing that once they've read it, they'll have nothing left.
The second boy says "we should go buy candy". The other 2 decide aga...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three boys are walking down the railroad tracks and find a $10 bill.....

.... and they're trying to decide what to do with the money.

The first boy says "let's buy some candy" and the other boys say "that's what we always do... Let's use it for something different." The second boy says "let's buy some comic books" and the other boys say "that's what we always do...

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