What do you call a average potato that narrates sporting events?

A common-tater

A guy narrates of his incredible tale to a friend

"I came across this beautiful woman. She was tied to the railroad tracks. I freed her and we made passionate love. Her body was smoking hot!"

"How was the face?" his friend asked.

"Oh I didn't find the head."

A man arrives in Heaven and Saint Peter asks him how he died

A 50-something man arrived at the pearly gates of Heaven and Saint Peter asks him how he died. The man narrates:

"I was walking down the street with my wife of 25 years when I was jumped by a mugger. He exclaimed YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE!"

Saint Peter replied "Oh, why didn't you hand hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband suspects his wife is having an affair.

But he fails to gather the adequate proof necessary to blame her.
One day after coming home he sees her wife in bed, stark naked.
"So my suspicion was right! Where is that bastard?" he shouts in anger and swiftly rushes to look for him.
He doesn't find anyone but right when he was about to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Lady Pregnant with Triplets walks down the street

A Lady Pregnant with Triplets walks down the street and while passing a store a robber comes running out and shoots her 3 times in the stomach. She is rushed off to hospital and the doctor evaluates the situation and says the babies are fine and he opts not to operate on the kids as she could lose t...

Santa spots a girl atop a tree...

He notices her ragged clothes and lack of undergarments.

Pitying the girl and in Christmas spirit, he asks her to come back down and gives her a crisp €5 bill. He implores her to splurge on a fresh set of underwear and have a great Christmas.

The girl, greatly delighted, heads back hom...

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