Today, I summarized the story of Easter for my 15 y/o son:

"... and then Jesus respawned."

My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film. Our dates can be summarized as followed:

Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

American society is best summarized by Christmas time

People who buy a bunch of shit while being surrounded by snowflakes.

My life was summarized in one sentence...

It’s because I’m on death row

Detective Work

A urologist is sitting down to lunch when he gets a call from a NYPD detective. Puzzled, he picks up the phone and listens as the detective details the fact patterns of a homicide. After about 5 minutes the detective finishes, re-summarizes the facts, and asks the urologist: "Who do you think comm...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman complains about her Husband

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy..

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5...

To make a long story short,

Summarize.

A Student is in Engineering Class, when the Teacher asks What is a Machine?

Student 1: A machine is anything that reduces human effort

Teacher: Will you please elaborate?

Student 1: Anything that simplifies work, or saves time, is a machine

Teacher: What is the true definition?

Student 2: Sir, machines are any combination of bodies so connected t...

Our new Space Force is exploring mars

The new Space Force has finally arrived at mars, and an exploration ship has been investigating the snow and ice covered North Pole area.

A field biologist excitedly rushes in to his general, and exclaims, “Sir, incredible news! We have discovered a strange, silicon-based form of life in the...

World's Funniest Joke

The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. Purposes of the research included discovering t...

A tribal man

A tribal man stumbled upon a bunch of black rocks. Upon closer inspection, he realizes that these aren’t just normal rocks, but instead magic rocks. The magic rocks awoke and said to him,

“You have found the magic coals of ancient times. We will give you great power, but if we are harmed in ...

"There were a load of vowels chasing me home. I checked behind me and they were catching up on me, and they looked really angry, like they wanted to hurt me. I didn't know what to do, dad," said my son.

I said, "OK...Summarize..."


He said, "Yeah, but not many."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Professional Advice

Guy wakes up, heads down for breakfast, sees wife. She's shocked. "Honey, you look terrible!" "That's weird, I feel great."

Guy goes to work, heads into office, sees boss. He's horrified. "Jeez, Guy, you look terrible." "But I feel great." "I don't care, take the day off and get checked out."...

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