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Laces Jokes

Men are like shoe laces

They go through many holes before they tie the knot

Did anybody hear the one about the lad who tied his shoe laces using just the power of his mind?

Thought knot.

I'm thinking of buying some Velcro strips for my sneakers, and getting rid of the laces.

I mean, why knot?

So this drug dealer sold me some shoe laces

I dunno what he put in them, but I've been tripping all day!

What happened when the teacher tied everyone's laces together?

They went on a class trip

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I would love to sit on the toilet whilst you tie my shoe laces...

I shit you knot!

What do you say to your laces to make them go away?

Shoo laces

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes into a shoe store looking to buy a pair of boots...

There’s an Irishman behind the counter who pulls out a box of comfortable looking boots for the man.

The man tries on the left boot, a perfect fit. He laces them up and is fairly convinced he’ll be buying them.

“Paddy, this boot’s a perfect fit. Will you pass me the other boot so’s I c...

I just saw Paddy in the Supermarket.

I noticed one of his shoelaces was undone, I said watch you don't trip over your laces Paddy.

Paddy says "yeah it's the bloody instructions."

I said, "what instructions Paddy?"

Paddy says, "underneath the shoe, it says "Taiwan."

What do Asian people use as blindfolds?

Shoe laces.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I work at a women's shoe store

Sometimes I tie the laces together...

Bitches be trippin'

How do you always keep your shoes tied?

Replace the laces with earphones.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW John had married Eileen, as she was a rules girl, she'd kept herself pure until her wedding night.

As Eileen took off her wedding dress, John undid his shoe laces. Eileen noticed for the first time John's size 10 shoes were padded with foam he pulled his feet out of the shoes and they looked like baby feet. She said "My, haven't you got tiny feet?" John looked embarrassed, he said "I had toe-sill...

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