I'm thinking of buying some Velcro strips for my sneakers, and getting rid of the laces.

I mean, why knot?

Men are like shoe laces

They go through many holes before they tie the knot

Did anybody hear the one about the lad who tied his shoe laces using just the power of his mind?

Thought knot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes into a shoe store looking to buy a pair of boots...

There’s an Irishman behind the counter who pulls out a box of comfortable looking boots for the man.

The man tries on the left boot, a perfect fit. He laces them up and is fairly convinced he’ll be buying them.

“Paddy, this boot’s a perfect fit. Will you pass me the other boot so’s I c...

So this drug dealer sold me some shoe laces

I dunno what he put in them, but I've been tripping all day!

What happened when the teacher tied everyone's laces together?

They went on a class trip

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I would love to sit on the toilet whilst you tie my shoe laces...

I shit you knot!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I broke into a shoe store and tied the laces together on all the womens shoes.

Bitches be trippin.

What do you say to your laces to make them go away?

Shoo laces

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW John had married Eileen, as she was a rules girl, she'd kept herself pure until her wedding night.

As Eileen took off her wedding dress, John undid his shoe laces. Eileen noticed for the first time John's size 10 shoes were padded with foam he pulled his feet out of the shoes and they looked like baby feet. She said "My, haven't you got tiny feet?" John looked embarrassed, he said "I had toe-sill...

I witnessed my shoelaces fight today...

It was a tie...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Honeymoon.

Two virgins had just had their wedding and needed to leave for their honeymoon trip immediately after the reception. The drive to the airport was a couple of hours and they were on a tight schedule to make the flight. As they were driving down this lonely stretch of highway they got to talking about...

Paddy At The Newsagents

I’ve just seen Paddy in the local newsagent and one of his shoelaces was undone, so I said,



“watch out you don’t trip up over your laces, Paddy.”




Paddy says, “yeah, it’s these bloody instructions.”




I said, “what instructions, Paddy?”
Pad...

A piece of string breaks out of prison.

Just one mile out from crossing state lines, the piece of string sees a checkpoint up ahead.

Frantic and worried that he will be recognized, the bit of string hatches an idea for a disguise.

He starts by rolling around on the ground, to the point he becomes dirty and tattered.
Ne...

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