UPJOKE
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If the pilgrims who came to this country shot a wildcat instead of a turkey

We would all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving!

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I need a woman who is beautiful... I need a woman who is a wildcat in bed with a high sex drive... I need a woman who is wealthy...

...and I need these women to never meet.

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An XM station was looking for a sportscaster...

An XM sports station was looking for a new sportscaster for play-by-play commentary for football games. The producer had two possible candidates lined up, and he brought them to meet the station manager.

The station manager was impressed by the first young man. He was bright, well-spoken, dre...

So this redneck in New York is getting mugged...

and he fights like a wildcat, but eventually the three toughs overcome him. Two hold him down while the third grabs his wallet and opens it.
"Ten dollars??!!? You fought like a madman for *15 minutes* for a lousy ten bucks?"
"Oh no!" replied the redneck. "I thought you were going af...

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