UPJOKE
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Two Swedish models, Astrid and Ebba, are at a photoshoot

The photographer takes a few shots, takes a minute to switch to a different lens, spends some time adjusting the camera to the new lens, and then resumes.

After he's repeated this process a few times, Astrid gets visibly frustrated with the continual delays to the shoot. She turns to Ebba and...

What do adult cam models and anti-vaxxers have in common?

Both always end up lying in bed deep-throating a plastic tube.

How are climate models like birthday cakes?

If you pay someone to bake you one, they can make it say whatever you want.

What do you call models in wheelchairs?

Hotwheels.

I got a job crafting toy models of the dwarves from Snow White.

The pay sucks, but I'm not lying when I tell people I make seven figures.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The owner of a sex shop, hires a new clerk.

After the owner taught him the basics of running the store, he has to run an errand.

'Could you run the store on your own for a couple of hours, Jeremy?' he asks.

'Sure thing boss!' Jeremy replied, 'don't you worry, I've got this.'

So the boss leaves for his errands, leaving you...

I watched the new thriller about the models who go camping.

It’s pretty in tents.

Instagram models’ beauty is so intense, it causes

Reality to bend around them

How do Instagram models get paid?

Per DM

(OFFENSIVE) Why do models don't brush their teeth?

Because you have to brush your teeth after every meal.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Take most Ford and most Dodge models...now put the word Anal in front of the model name

Anal charger, Anal challenger, Anal expedition, Anal Fiesta...

Why are foot models legends?

They have achieved incredible feats

I've just built two flatpack models of Motown stars That I bought from a certain Swedish Store



Ikea?

Yes and that's Tina over there.

I've been staring at topless models all day, just dreaming

But sadly, I can't afford the diecast convertible cars at the moment

[NSFW] Russian cam models are currently being investigated.

They're accused of meddling in U.S. erections.

There's a technique in theoretical physics that models complex systems as spherical cows.

The Your Mom approach.

Models

Why did the models keep tripping on the runway?




They were showing off the fall lineup. Badumtss

Just tried explaining a girl the Quantum Model

She found it a Bohr.

Where do the world's skinniest models come from?

Hungary.

What do you call someone who specializes in selling insurance to hand models?

A digital security specialist.

Apparently the government has several models to forecast how the pandemic will play out

They should use scientists instead - they're not as pretty but they know a lot more.

Why do tall people have no role models?

Because they have no one to look up to.

Several men were in the locker room of the gym when a cell phone on a bench rang and a man put it on speaker and begins to talk. Everyone in the room stopped to listen.

Man: Hello!

Woman: Hi honey, its me. Are you at the club?

Man: Yes.

Woman: Im at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. Its only $2000: is it OK if I buy it?

Man: Sure, go ahead if you like that much.

Woman: I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and ...

Whenever I see Instagram models working out, I am inspired to do my own workout.

Unfortunately, it's only for my left arm.

Why are so many hotwheels based after Ford models?

So kids get used to pushing them at a young age.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As the limousine stops, twenty beautiful models step out

followed by this very well dressed man carrying a rooster. They enter the restaurant, and sit at the large reserved table. When the waiter arrives, the man orders: "I would like to start with some Beluga caviar for me and the ladies, and triple portion for the rooster. Then we will proceed to have l...

How many Instagram models does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, they hold the light bulb up and the world revolves around them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the artist that painted nude models for free?

He did it for the exposure.

Most would say atheism isn't the best business model

Some would even say it's non-prophet!

Some people say that super models have a problem with bulimia,

I don't know, I think they're pretty good at it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm 45 and have the body of a 25 year old model

She's in my basement. What do I do?

Two young rednecks were looking at a Sears catalogue and admiring the models.

Earl says to the Bubba, "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?"

Bubba replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!"

Earl says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one."

Bubba smiles and pats him on the back...

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