UPJOKE
hyperboleoverstatementpufferyabsurditymagnificationfigure of speechunderstatementoverreactionironymisnomernonsensedistortioncoincidenceaberrationcontradiction

What's literally the absolute worst thing in the whole world?

Exaggeration.

Went to a class on exaggeration today...

I swear my teacher is like a million years old

Where was the concept of exaggeration invented?

Everyone knows.

Exaggerations...

...went up by a million percent last year.

What do you call a mans exaggeration of his length?

Woody's round up.

I don't think it's any exaggeration to say that hyperbole is the greatest word in the world

I will fight anyone who disagrees with me.

For anyone who gets confused about proper grammar and style in writing

I offer from the Internet, the following tip sheet, "How to Write Good":

- It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
- Contractions aren't necessary
- The passive voice is to be avoided.
- Prepositions are not the words to end sentences with.
- Be more or less specific.
- ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A detachment of US Marines are conducting jungle warfare training in the Congo, and one night around the campfire, the Congolese troops they're training with tell the Marines the tale of a cave in the middle of the jungle, filled with golden treasure but guarded by a fearsome monster.

According to the local soldiers, the cave is filled with the treasures of an ancient African king, but a sorcerer used his arcane powers to create an unholy creature to guard it. She was formed from a mix of human, gorilla, chimpanzee, and baboon, and stands seven feet tall, enormously strong. She h...

Late for school

Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has to tell a big lie explaining why.

The teacher tells the headmaster that she is fed up with his exaggerations.

The headmaster tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he turns up late.

He'll t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some good tips for your English class.

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It...

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