I tried to catch fog the other day,

I mist.

RIP boiling water

You will be mist.

If you see someone drinking a Sierra Mist, punch them straight in the face...

...that's the first rule of Sprite Club.

Bigamist…

What an Italian calls very thick fog

A sketchy guy just came into my shop and bought six smoke machines. So I called the cops.

He must be a part of some extreme mist group.

It’s a shame your friend has to be de-atomized today.

He will be mist.

RIP boiling water

You will be mist.

My half Native American friend Les tried to teach me to rain dance, but we could only ever muster a light mist...

I guess I'm just going to have to make dew with Les.

I met a girl who wanted to make love under a light spray of water, but I said no.

Looking back, I realize it was a mist opportunity.

“Hey, I’m supposed to meet a guy made entirely out of fog. Have you seen him?”

“Sorry, you just mist him.”

I wasn't able to catch my train...

The air was so foggy that I mist it.

Forever mortal frenemies

Britain and France. Forever mortal frenemies. The rivalry goes back over 1000 years. One of the biggest sticking point has always been the channel. Is it the British channel or the French? In order to show how one country was superior in the rivalry every 100 years the 2 countries would hold a cross...

A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died...

She is sadly mist.

I was offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.

In hindsight, I think it was a mist opportunity.

RIP H2O...

You will be mist.

Saw this one in the bathroom of a school I'm taking classes at. I haven't seen it posted on here, it made me laugh.

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It is a cold, foggy night, and several passengers are in a bus, driving along little lanes through the countryside.

Suddenly, the bus swerves violently. The passengers are irritated. A young man who was woken up by the bus's swerving says: "What happened?"

"Mist," the bus driver says, dismissively.

The young man thinks that yes, it is harder to drive in fog, and falls back asleep thinking nothin...

What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?

A mist steak

It's always a sad day when I end up having to boil water.

It will be mist.

Allways pay attention when you're working around propellers

If you don't, you'll be mist.

The guy who invented the vape died today.

He will be mist.

Sierra appears on a trivia game show. Her first question is about carbonated beverages. Sierra knows nothing about carbonated beverages.

Needless to say, Sierra Mist that question.

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?

He is mist

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A Pig walks into a pub.

He goes up to the bar and sees a curious looking bottle bubbling away with mist emanating from the top. Slightly flummoxed he asks the barman, “What’s this about then?”

The barman replies, “Well, this is a mystic potion, a concoction of my very own. Take a sip and it’ll magically release your...

When i told my dad i was joining the Air Force, he gave me one piece of advice...

Son, always pay attention on the flight line, because if you don't, you will be mist.

A friend of mine was caught in an airplane turbine

In many ways, he *will* be mist

A man and his wife...

Are walking through the park when some grey clouds roll in. As the clouds open and water falls, the wife says, "Well isn't this a nice mist dear?" "Actually honey, it's rain," replies the husband. So they argue whether it's rain or mist for a little before the husband says, "You know what, how about...

My band and I had our first significant gig tonight, but afterwards I realized that it would have been way cooler with a fog machine...

It was a huge mist opportunity.

The CIA lost track of its operative in Ireland “Murphy. ”

The CIA boss says, “All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he’s somewhere in Ireland. If you think you’ve located him, tell him the code words, “The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning. ” If it’s really him, he’ll answer, “Yes, and for mist at noon as well. ”

So the...

So my boyfriend's kettle has boiled dry all the water inside and he said "RIP water..."

"You will be mist."

I screwed up the scene in the movie where I walked through an incredibly light rain.

It was a mist take.

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The fly and the river

It's a hot summer day, hottest it's been all year, and the sun is just beating down on this poor fly who has been traveling all day until he finally hovers over a river.

"Oh boy" Says the fly "If I drop just six inches I'll be able to feel the cooling mist of the river and take a break!"
...

My grandparents were vaporised in a freak accident

They will be mist... :'(

How do you call a bouncy airplane?

A Boing.

P.S. I came up with this on my own, yet have a feeling it mist've been here already, so please tell me if it's a repost. Thanks!

Under President Trump, ISIS continues to spread across Middle East

as a fine red mist.

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The Fog Monster

Long, long ago, there was a village which had its very existence constantly threatened by a terrible fog monster. For a while, none would trade with the village, for even outsiders feared this hostile aberration, which could attack without warning and slay an army without leaving a trace. Several ge...

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A collection of OC jokes!

Well I hope they're funny, anyway. The past few months I've been writing down anything that seems vaguely amusing to me. I imagine that some of them might be already-existing jokes without knowing it, but I hope you enjoy!

* I was offered a job studying fog but I turned it down. In hindsight,...

5 Jokes about Boiling Water

1. Perhaps I shouldn't joke on here about boiling water, it might be too steamy.
2. RIP Boiling Water. You will be mist.
3. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
4. What do you get when your pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies
5. One cannibal says ...

I over boiled some venison broth earlier...

It was deerly mist.

we are mostly water

that's how come we're mist when we die

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It's World War 1...

British and German troops are set deep in the French countryside within their respective trenches. Separating them is no man's land, a small field littered with barbed wire, mortar craters, fallen heroes and their armaments.

Shots are being sporadically fired in each direction with no side ga...

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Two drunk men

Two guys were drinking at a remote bar.

When it was closing time the men started to leave and were thinking which route to take home. They decided that the fastest way was trough the swamp, because the main road was 10 miles and the swap route was only 5.

The bartender rushed to the me...

What did the rising sun say to the morning dew?

You will be mist.

Fog father leaves his fog family

He is heavily mist

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Paddy Irishman dies and goes to hell...

It's dark and cold, and Paddy is lying on the stone floor of a huge cavern, quietly weeping to himself, terrified in anticipation of what is in store for him. The slim figure of the devil appears out from the mist, whistling and spinning a cane. As he nears, a broad grin breaks out on his face and h...

TIL It's a myth that people's joints hurt because it's cold and damp

Turns out it's just a mist ache.

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Story of the fly

In the dead of summer, a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. A hot,dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh...if I go down three inches...I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."

There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inch...

What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?

A mist conception.

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