What effect does mist have? (Dad joke alert.)

It mystifies.

RIP boiled water...

you will be mist

A sketchy looking guy walked into my store and bought six smoke machines, so I called the cops.

He must be part of some extreme mist group.

If you see someone drinking a Sierra Mist, punch them straight in the face...

...that's the first rule of Sprite Club.

Rest in peace, dense water vapour.

You will be mist.

My half Native American friend Les tried to teach me to rain dance, but we could only ever muster a light mist...

I guess I'm just going to have to make dew with Les.

I tried to catch fog the other day,

I mist.

So it was super foggy when I got up this morning.

I grabbed a big jar and went outside just to catch a bunch of fog and I put a lid on it. Came back in the house to check it out and the jar looked completely empty. So, while I thought I was capturing fog- I mist.

Forever mortal frenemies

Britain and France. Forever mortal frenemies. The rivalry goes back over 1000 years. One of the biggest sticking point has always been the channel. Is it the British channel or the French? In order to show how one country was superior in the rivalry every 100 years the 2 countries would hold a cross...

I met a girl who wanted to make love under a light spray of water, but I said no.

Looking back, I realize it was a mist opportunity.

I wasn't able to catch my train...

The air was so foggy that I mist it.

It’s a shame your friend has to be de-atomized today.

He will be mist.

“Hey, I’m supposed to meet a guy made entirely out of fog. Have you seen him?”

“Sorry, you just mist him.”

I was offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.

In hindsight, I think it was a mist opportunity.

What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?

A mist steak

RIP H2O...

You will be mist.

Saw this one in the bathroom of a school I'm taking classes at. I haven't seen it posted on here, it made me laugh.

A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died...

She is sadly mist.

Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog...

But it’s actually a common mist-conception!

It was so foggy this morning and I tried to grab some of the fog

Sadly, I mist.

It's always a sad day when I end up having to boil water.

It will be mist.

The guy who invented the vape died today.

He will be mist.

When i told my dad i was joining the Air Force, he gave me one piece of advice...

Son, always pay attention on the flight line, because if you don't, you will be mist.

Allways pay attention when you're working around propellers

If you don't, you'll be mist.

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It is a cold, foggy night, and several passengers are in a bus, driving along little lanes through the countryside.

Suddenly, the bus swerves violently. The passengers are irritated. A young man who was woken up by the bus's swerving says: "What happened?"

"Mist," the bus driver says, dismissively.

The young man thinks that yes, it is harder to drive in fog, and falls back asleep thinking nothin...

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A Pig walks into a pub.

He goes up to the bar and sees a curious looking bottle bubbling away with mist emanating from the top. Slightly flummoxed he asks the barman, “What’s this about then?”

The barman replies, “Well, this is a mystic potion, a concoction of my very own. Take a sip and it’ll magically release your...

RIP boiling water

You will be mist.

A man and his wife...

Are walking through the park when some grey clouds roll in. As the clouds open and water falls, the wife says, "Well isn't this a nice mist dear?" "Actually honey, it's rain," replies the husband. So they argue whether it's rain or mist for a little before the husband says, "You know what, how about...

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?

He is mist

My band and I had our first significant gig tonight, but afterwards I realized that it would have been way cooler with a fog machine...

It was a huge mist opportunity.

Bigamist…

What an Italian calls very thick fog

A friend of mine was caught in an airplane turbine

In many ways, he *will* be mist

So my boyfriend's kettle has boiled dry all the water inside and he said "RIP water..."

"You will be mist."

My grandparents were vaporised in a freak accident

They will be mist... :'(

How do you call a bouncy airplane?

A Boing.

P.S. I came up with this on my own, yet have a feeling it mist've been here already, so please tell me if it's a repost. Thanks!

Under President Trump, ISIS continues to spread across Middle East

as a fine red mist.

The CIA lost track of its operative in Ireland “Murphy. ”

The CIA boss says, “All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he’s somewhere in Ireland. If you think you’ve located him, tell him the code words, “The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning. ” If it’s really him, he’ll answer, “Yes, and for mist at noon as well. ”

So the...

I screwed up the scene in the movie where I walked through an incredibly light rain.

It was a mist take.

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The creation of a pussy, improved version.

Each man was a master-of-craft at his trade,


Now by God in his wisdom a task they'd been laid.


See them gathered together, by calling divine


to fashion a vulva of peerless design.


The first man, a butcher of eminent skill


took a hold of his bla...

5 Jokes about Boiling Water

1. Perhaps I shouldn't joke on here about boiling water, it might be too steamy.
2. RIP Boiling Water. You will be mist.
3. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
4. What do you get when your pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies
5. One cannibal says ...

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The Fog Monster

Long, long ago, there was a village which had its very existence constantly threatened by a terrible fog monster. For a while, none would trade with the village, for even outsiders feared this hostile aberration, which could attack without warning and slay an army without leaving a trace. Several ge...

I over boiled some venison broth earlier...

It was deerly mist.

we are mostly water

that's how come we're mist when we die

What did the rising sun say to the morning dew?

You will be mist.

Fog father leaves his fog family

He is heavily mist

TIL It's a myth that people's joints hurt because it's cold and damp

Turns out it's just a mist ache.

An old Saint's joke

A Cajun died and went to hell.
The devil assigned him the usual punishment...put him in the mass pit where the heat was melting others. The devil came back sometime later, surprised to find the Cajun just sitting around, not even misting, much less sweating. "How come you're not so much as swea...

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Story of the fly

In the dead of summer, a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. A hot,dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh...if I go down three inches...I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."

There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inch...

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