This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little girl asks her mother, “Mommy, how was I born?”

Her mother, misty-eyed, smiled and replied: “Once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The little seed grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. So w...

What did Ash say when he accidentally walked in on Misty changing?

Sorry, I wasn't trying to get a Pikachu.

After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery

Halfway across, he’s startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone.

“I thought you were a ghost,” says the relieved teen. “What are you doing working so late?”

“Oh, those idiots...

One dark night, two men are walking home after a party and decide to take a shortcut through the cemetery.

Right in the middle of the cemetery they are startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they find an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.



“Holy cow, dude,” one says after catching his breath. “You scared...

Misty's boss says to her: "You've been late to work for 5 days straight! You know what this means, don't you?" .....

...to which Misty replied "I SURE do! It means today must be FRIDAY!!!"

At the Pearly Gates, there is a men's entrance and a women's entrance

and at the men's entrance there are two smaller doors for married men. Over one there is the inscription FOR MEN WHO WERE DOMINATED ALL THEIR LIVES BY THEIR WIVES and over the other it reads FOR MEN WHO WERE NOT DOMINATED BY THEIR WIVES.

One morning at opening-up time St Peter comes and unl...

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My Dad's Best Joke - Not a dad joke

My dad was enjoying a smoke break during an in-service training at the police academy. He had taken to smoking Misty cigarettes. A friend from a neighboring police force asked him why he was smoking such a feminine cigarette.

"Well, Kay went out to get something out of my cruiser the other da...

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The Haunted Car

The hour is late, the streetlights have gone out, and it isn't the safest part of town on the best of nights. Jim the hitchhiker wants nothing more than to get out of there as soon as possible.

Suddenly, a pair of headlights appears through the misty gloom, and begin approaching him, silently...

One time Lenin's widow, Nadezhda Krupskaya, visits an elementary school.

The schoolchildren asked her to tell them a story Vladimir Lenin.

"Children, you should know about Lenin's great kindness." she says with eyes misty.
"I remember once he was shaving his beard outside of home, and a little child was passing by & asked him (What are you doing, Mr Lenin...

An Englishman And An Irishman

*Chances are this has been posted before, but as an Irishman with English roots I've always found it hilarious. Enjoy! :D*

An Englishman and an Irishman in two separate cars were driving down a lonely country road on a cold, misty night at 100 kilometers per hour. Neither men were being parti...

Is it not funny

Prize winning message of the year-.

A husb went to police station for filing report
For his missing wife:

Husb :
-I lost my wife (misty),
she went for shopping
& still not reached home yet.

Inspector :
-What is her height ?

Husb:
-I never noticed....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little duckling got lost...

...and is walking all alone across cold and misty farmland in the early morning.
A farmer -hard at work already- suddenly notices the little duckling and sympathizes with its plight.
He looks around and sees a fresh steaming cow pie. He doesn't hesitate a moment and picks up the little ducklin...

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