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For those that don't believe in miracles

My wife has had 3 virgin births. We are truly blessed.

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Pissed off God by not seeing everyday miracles.

There's an old joke...

There's a flood. A man is standing in knee deep water in his house. Another man in a canoe paddles by and says "Get in I'll row you to safety!"

The man says,"No thanks. I've prayed and God will save me".

The water gets to his chest. Another man in a bass b...

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Miracles CAN Occur! NSFW

There's a city with a fierce storm and the flood waters threaten to rise.

A devout man goes outside and prays, "Dear Lord, please save me from this flood!"

A bus rolls up to the man and says, "Get in! I'm taking you to safety!"

The man says, "No. God will provide for me." And t...

After the exodus through the Red Sea, Moses's staff could no longer perform miracles, and yet he kept it beside him the rest of his life...

...he just couldn't part with it.

At a monastery

3 disabled friars are walking the grounds of the monastery. 1 blind, 1 deaf and 1 in a wheelchair. They walk past a lake and the blind one says it is a holly lake that miracles occur in. The guy in the wheelchair says let's try. The blind guy enters and when he comes out he says "what a beautiful mo...

Joe the Carpenter

Joe was a simple and serious man. He was a carpenter in a small village named Arge Oaks where he owned the store "Joe's Carpentry."

For years Joe impressed his fellow neighbors with the highest quality carpentry work. Some people in town complained he was a bit too expensive, but no one ever...

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Did you know it takes 3 miracles to be declared a Saint by the Catholic Church?

Did you know masturbating 15 times a day for 3 days strait does not constitute as a miracle? Did you also know they return the application and evidence in a package labeled Bio-hazard?

Jesus and Moses are relaxing on a boat and talking about the good old days.

The subject of miracles comes up, and they decide to see if they can still perform them.

"It's been almost 4000 years since I did this one" Moses says, then raises his arms. The water parts, revealing the floor of the lake.

Jesus claps His hands and says "Good one! It's only been abo...

A cop pulls over a car swerving all over the road

After the cop tells the driver why he stopped him and asks for his license and registration, he notices an open, half-empty bottle sitting on the floor.

Cop: β€œSir, what is that bottle between your feet?”

Driver (burping): β€œUh, it’s a bottle of water officer.”

Cop: β€œI can see...

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Four facts about women that prove they can do miracles.

1. They can get wet without taking a shower.
2. Bleed without being hurt.
3. Producing milk without eating grass.
4. Making boneless meat hard.

He arrives mysteriously. He helps others, performs miracles, gets betrayed, and finally ascends into the heavens.

E.T. was a great movie.

Miracles revisited

So Jesus and Moses are standing on the shore of the red sea one day. They're talking and Jesus says, "Let's see if we can still do the old miracles?"

So Moses steps up the Red Sea and slams his staff on the ground and claps his hands together and starts to slowly spread them, the sea follows ...

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A priest, an immam and a rabbi are discussing the miracles in their lives that had truly cemented their respective faiths.

The priest says "once I was out on a boat, and a storm hit. The boat was about to capsize, but when I prayed to God suddenly the oceans 100 feet around us became calm".

The immam says "that is good, but once I was in the middle of a warzone with bullets flying through the air all around me. I...

A man comes out of a church and shouts "I'll walk again"

Hearing that other parishioners start murmuring and minister walks up to him, pats him on the shoulder and says "You see? If you have faith miracles can happen!" Man turns red: "It was no miracle. Somebody stole my car!"

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

The 3 men (Joke told by professor)

Sometime during the middle ages, one day - an engineer, a priest, and a farmer were being executed by the guillotine due to their crimes they commit against the village

the engineer was punished because he was rigging his builds and selling it blindly to people to make extra money by offering...

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