Thomas Jefferson Jokes - 15 Hilarious Thomas Jefferson Jokes

Three days ago, in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, Donald Trump was visited by the ghost of George Washington.

"George," Trump asked, "how can I fix this? How do I make America great again?"

"Never tell a lie."

"I don't lie. Go away."

Two days ago, he was visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson.

"Hey, Tom, how do I fix this? How can I make America great again?"

"Listen to ...

Did you know that Thomas Jefferson invented the swivel chair

Guess he really loved Revolutions after all.

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Mohammad Atta opens his eyes a second after flying his plane into the WTC

He finds himself inside a chamber, filled with a large group of angry men wearing wigs and weird costumes.

“Who, who are you?” He asked in great confusion.

A tall man strode forward and smacked his hand across his face with a vicious back hand. “I’m George Washington. This here are my...

I told my girlfriend I was named after Thomas Jefferson.

She said, "Your name is Brian."

I said, "Right. But I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson."

Hillary Clinton is elected president, . . .

and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."

She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
...

Hillary Clinton is elected President.

On her first night in the White House (not counting when she was first lady), she is visited by the ghost of George Washington.

She asks, "What can I do to help America?"

Washington replies "Serve your country selflessly and always be honest"

*Hillary laughs in his face*

...

It was Donald Trump's first day in office, and he had no clue what to do...

He decided to call upon the ghosts of previous great presidents to ask for their advice.

"What do I have to do to become a great president?" Trump asked the ghost of George Washington.

"You must never tell a lie," Washington responded.

Trump scoffed. "No way! do you really expec...

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The founding fathers were having a discussion about the originations of their last names

"I wonder if someone in my family ran a laundry business" mused George Washington, "that may be the reason"

"I suppose mine is more boring, at some point there must have been a Jeffer son", said Thomas Jefferson.

"I don't like this game", said John Hancock

George Washington : We should put "We trust in God" on our money.

Thomas Jefferson : Great idea. Did you get that?

Yoda *taking notes* : Yep!

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Osama goes to heaven.

Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington.

"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr.
Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the
Americans' liberty, so they gave you...

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In an 3rd grade American class room...

The teacher is discussing U.S. presidents.

"Who gave the Gettysburg Address?" she asked the class.

Immediately a hand shot up belonging to a female Japanese foreign exchange student.

"Yes?" the teacher asked.

"Abraham Lincoln! 1863!" replied the girl proudly.

"That...

This year in Heaven the Christmas celebration was also a costume party. Everyone dressed up.

Many people came as movie characters, from Gandalf the Grey (and White) to Jason Bourne to Black Widow to Harry Potter. Alan Rickman went as Hans Gruber, which made St. Peter exclaim "See, Die Hard IS a Christmas movie!" St. Peter was dressed as the "Fragile" lamp from A Christmas Story. Moses showe...

A Story if Trump Wins The Election

Donald Trump won the 2016 Presidential election. The first night was packed full of activities and tours of the White House. Trump finally got to his room and was falling asleep in his new bed and saw the ghost of George Washington appear in front of him during his dream. Donald called out to him,...

Famous Quotes from US Presidents

“The harder the conflict, the greater the triumph.” ― George Washington

“Honesty is the first chapter of the book wisdom.” ― Thomas Jefferson

“If tyranny and oppression come to this land it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.” ― James Madison

“Try and fail, but don...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Osama bin Laden dies and goes to heaven . . . .

. . . . So he's waiting at this gate when all of a sudden, George Washington comes out.

"You attacked the country I helped found!" and beats the crap out of him. Then he goes back inside and Thomas Jefferson comes out. "You hate the Declaration of Independence that I wrote!" And beats the eve...

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