I don't get why people keep calling Muhammad a child molester.

Aisha was only the name of his goat.

For sale: George Foreman grill and Muhammad Ali DVD's

Both boxed.

Muhammad Ali has two boys.

Both of them head strong and talented like their father, vigorously passionate about their sport. But neither of them took a liking to boxing. They actually had an uncanny knack for driving, or rather, the opposite of driving. They could put a car into perfect position flawlessly every time, even in...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Muhammad Ali once tried to tell a joke.

But he punched up the fuck line.

[OC] What was Muhammad Ali’s flatulent brother’s name?

Gaseous Clay

There were two christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.

As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful. But then John said ''Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are Muslim.'' Then Mike said ''No way, I won't say I'm Muslim, I'm gonna be honest''.

So John and Mike went to the Mosque ...

Did you hear Muhammad Ali burnt his hand in a few fights?

That's what happens when you punch George Foreman in the grill.

A Muslim man sees the face of Muhammad in a tub of margarine one day

His neighbor from Nepal looks over and says "I can't believe it's not Buddha"

Muhammad Ali & Joe Frazier go to a Dry Cleaner.

Owner says, "Can I help you?"

They say, "How much to wash an old pair of boxers?"

What do you call a Muslim person standing between two buildings?

Muhammad Alley

1. Muhammad

2\. (Peace be upon him)

3\. Prophet????

Everyone thinks Muhammad Ali was the best boxer in history, but Jim Jones had a way higher number of KO's...

900 with just one punch.

Muhammad Ali’s son was conceived over his parents splitting a veggie platter.

His name was Brock Ali.

I figured out why so many Muslims are called Muhammad.

So they don't have to have their picture in the yearbook.

Nasa just named a nebula after Muhammad Ali...

...Gaseous Clay

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

What does Allahu Akbar actually mean?" I asked Muhammad at work today.

"It has two meanings," he replied, "The first meaning is 'God is Great'".

"And the second?" I asked

"Run like fuck!" Muhammad smiled.

I told a joke about Muhammad to a Muslim man..

And he blew up in my face!

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Little Muhammad goes to 1st grade...

When the teacher asked his name he replied: "Muhammad".
The teacher says:" you live in France, from now on you're name is Phillip and you will be French"
Little Phillip goes back home and his mom asks him" well little Muhammad, how was school?"
Phillip replied: "I'm French now, my name is P...

I started a figurine company that specializes in miniature Muhammad statues

We make a small prophet.

I've always wanted to shake Muhammad Ali's hand

Unfortunately, Parkinson's beat me to it.

What did Muhammad Ali name his son?

Alli'son.

So Muhammad Ali is dead...

Is it too soon for a punchline?

I just started volunteering at this place called Muhammad's Bakery.

It's a naan prophet organization.

Muhammad, Jesus and Buddha walks into a bar...

The bartender asks each of them what they want.

Muhammad orders a glass of cranberry juice.

Jesus orders a glass of water, and promptly turns it into wine.

Then the bartender asks Buddha, "what do you want?"

Buddha replies, "Make me one with everything."

Muhammad walks up to the Buddha and says "Guess what a mosque and 9 year old have in common."

I've been in both.

What did the clerk say to young Muhammad Ali when he tried to purchase an elaborate Christmas present?

You're cashless, Clay.

Muhammad Ali walks into a bar

So Muhammad Ali walks into a bar and orders a drink.

He gives the bartender ceramic money.

The Bartender says "I can't accept this your Cash Is Clay"

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Muhammad Ali in 1974: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

Floyd Mayweather in 2015: Run like a chicken, hug like a bear

Why couldn't Muhammad pick his wife up from childcare?

Because Muslim girls can't go to school

I was at a urinal when I realized standing to my left was Muhammad Ali and to my right was Michael J. Fox...

bad day to wear sandals.

Israelis and Palestinians are fighting a battle.

From the israeli side, a machine gun fires, β€œbang bang bang bang bang bang bang.”

From the Palestinian side, a rifle goes β€œbang bang”

This goes on for a bit until suddenly, the Palestinian side goes quiet.

A head pokes out of the Israeli foxhole. β€œHey Muhammad! You run out of a...

Jesus, Moses, and Muhammad are fishing on a boat

As Jesus winds down the fishing lesson, he notes the time. He bids them farewell, and walks across the lake home.

After a while, Moses decided he wasn't very good at fishing, so he parted the lake and went home.

Being the last one left, Muhammed β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ...

Why did Muhammad cross the road?

You should not question the prophet's motives infidel!

Why did Muhammad hire Moses to help with his start-up?

He wanted to double his prophets.

The worst thing about Muhammad Ali sending a "Tweet" to Mayweather . . .

Ali couldn't type it and Mayweather couldn't read it.

We need to start giving hurricanes Arab names

Nobody is going to leave for Irma but if Muhammad was coming the whole country would evacuate

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

What do you call a 58 year old man that has sex with a 9 year old girl?

The Prophet Muhammad.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Discrimination

Three first-graders are flunking their class. The teacher calls them in and tells them: "I will ask you one question each, if you can answer it, you pass."

"Jim, how do you spell 'Cow'?"

"Jack, how do you spell 'Car'?"

"Muhammad, how do you spell 'Racial discrimination'?"

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Mohammed goes to school....

The children were returning to class after playtime.

The first child into class was Jack.
''Jack,'' said the teacher, ''what did you do this playtime?''
''I was playing in the sandpit,'' replied Jack.
''How fun! If you can spell 'sand' on the board, you can have a cookie!''
Jack s...

What do you call an Islamic capitalist?

Profit Muhammad

Two guys survive a plane crash in the middle of the desert...

Two guys, John and James, survive a plane crash in the middle of the desert. With nothing better to do, and no food or water, they set out in search of civilisation.

A long while goes by, over which time they develop a fierce hunger. Suddenly, off in the distance, they spot a building. Excit...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

In Lebanon, a christian man falls in love with a muslim woman...

Her parents won't allow him to marry her unless he converts to islam. The man goes to see the sheikh and is told that he has to circumcise. He reluctantly agrees and gets married.

A month later, the man is walking down Hamra street, with a gold chain around his neck attached to a crucifix on ...

A victim of a recent mugging went to the police for help.

When the victim entered the station she was comforted by the police officer, given a cup of coffee, and was told that they would bring a sketch artist to draw the suspect from her description.

After about 10 minutes, the department's sketch artist comes in and prepares his work space. The off...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Jokes for the week of 4/6-4/12

A French breast scientist advises against wearing bras after a thorough study, thus tying for the best job ever and the best news ever.

A GOP rep said not gays nor NAMBLA can redefine marriage. Thankfully, nine fabulous people in robes can. β€ͺ#suckit‬ β€ͺ#nohomo‬ β€ͺ#somehomo‬ β€ͺ#yeshomo‬

Ki...

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