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Late one night, a cop shines his spotlight on a car parked in a church parking lot. He sees an older man in the backseat with a younger woman.

"Okay," the cop says to the man. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? Get out of the car. Now!"

The older man protests, telling the cop, "But officer! I'm Pastor Fluff!"

"I don't give a shit if you're already up her ass, get the fuck out of the car."

What kind of chocolate do you find in the fluff catcher in a dryer?

Lindt

Wait a minute, that piece of fluff didn't come from your pocket at all!...

Its Fraudulint.

From one kind to another

A string walks into a bar and orders a beer.

"We don't serve STRINGS here," the bartender sneers. "Get out!"

Dejected, the string leaves and walks to the corner. Then - he gets an idea! He twists around, fluffs his hair, and walks back into the bar.

The bartender looks up, na...

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A prominent local pastor drives a young female congregant to a remote spot ...

... he starts kissing and feeling her up, then he starts feeling around under her skirt. Just then, the police arrive.

Cop: "I see what you're doing. She's underage. Get out of the car now."

Pastor: "But officer! I'm Pastor Fluff!"

Cop: "I don't give a fuck if you're up her ass,...

The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor of a small town.

One day he was walking down the high street, when he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The Reverend wasn’t happy. He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the woman.

“Miss Fitzgerald”, he said sternly. “This is no place for a membe...

Pink Fluff...

What's pink and fluffy?
Pink Fluff

What's Blue and Fluffy?
Pink Fluff holding it's breath.

(My niece told me this)

A guy had a dog that kept getting into the neighbors backyard.

The neighbor would come over, banging on the door,screaming,"Your dog has been in my yard again,digging holes and scaring my rabbit."
"I'm real sorry about that neighbor, I'll try to keep him penned up."
"Next time,as God as my witness, I'll shoot that dog of yours,"and his neighbor storms off...

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An old man notices a young boy walking down the street with some chicken wire.

The old man says "where you going with that there chicken wire?"
The boy says " going to catch me some chickens".
Old man " that ain't how you catch chickens"
A few hours later the old man sees the boy walking back with a bunch of chickens in his wire.
"
Ill be damned" thinks the ol...

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HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN:

Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to,...

A woman on a business trip calls her husband to check on her cat.

“How’s Princess Fluffs?” she asks.

“Oh, she died this morning, honey. Ran into traffic. Sorry.”

His wife breaks into sobs, and he feels terrible. When she gathers her composure she yells at him,

“How can you break the news like that to me? You have no sensitivity whatsoever.”...

What's green and fluffy?

Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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This man is kind of bored so he goes to this exotic brothel he heard about...

When he gets there, the hostess talks to him about what he likes for a few minutes, and then, sensing he is open-minded, says, "we have something special today... it's not for everyone, but I think you might like it."

"What is it?" he asks, intrigued.

"It's a chicken that gives blowjo...

A young nurse is hired at a Glasgow hospital.

Towards the end of the shift, he is assigned to a ward with a number people with no obvious signs of injury or disease. He goes to greet the first patient. "Hello, sir, how are you today? Is there anything I can do for you?" The patient replies,

"Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe...

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A young man visits his girlfriend`s family for the first time...

He is really nervous and is doing his best to make a good impression. Dinner is served and he takes care to keep his elbows tucked in and tries not to stuff his mouth as he usually does.

After a while, however, he feels the need to fart. At first he fights to keep it in, but eventually he s...

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