Why did the OREO go to the dentist?

Because he needed a filling

I went to the website for Oreos today

I hit "Accept All Cookies" and got nothing.

A man had been feeling sick for several days. Finally he decided to try a new doctor who had just moved into town...

After hearing the man's symptoms and listening to his belly with a stethoscope the doctor told him that he had a tapeworm. ''Oh, is that bad? How can I get rid of it?'' asked the man. ''Come in tomorrow and bring a hard boiled egg and a oreo cookie,'' said the doctor. When he saw a puzzled look cros...

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Do you have the Lady Gaga Oreos?

Customer: Excuse me, do you have new Lady Gaga Oreos?

Employee: I'm sorry, we only have the Cardi B ones.

Customer: What's that like?

Employee: Soggy. It's a wet-ass cookie.

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me..

We all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So, I looked around my house to see things I started, and hadn't f...

What do you call the art of folding cookies?

Oreo-gami

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NSFW A boy and his grandfather are fishing

Grandpa cracks open a beer. The boy asks for a sip. “Can your dick touch your ass?” asks Grandpa.
“Well, no,” says the boy.
“Then no.”
Later, Grandpa lights a cigar. “Can I try?” asks the boy.
“Can your dick touch your ass?”
“No,” says the boy.
“Then no.”
After dinner, th...

I like my oreos like I like my people...

...held under the surface till the bubbles stop.

I'm looking forward to the day we celebrate that chocolate cookie with white icing in the middle.

Mem-Oreo Day.

A recent study concluded that oreos are as addictive as cocaine.

In a more recent study, I found out that cocaine doesn't actually taste better dipped in milk.

Pick up line: Girl are you an oreo?

Cos I wanna open you up and lick all the good stuff inside

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Oreos are like boobies...

So much better with milk.

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So I've been puting Viagra in my milk.

It doesn't help with the sex, but my Oreos don't go all soft anymore.

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A man walks into a drugstore asking for viagra...

A man walks into a drugstore asking for viagra,

The pharmacist says he has two kinds, one that costs $20 and one that costs $30

The man asks for the one that costs $30, opens the bottle and pops a pill. He pulls out a credit card to pay and the pharmacist says

“Sorry, we don’t...

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[NSFW] Granddad and Grandson are out fishing

Granddad and Grandson are out fishing. Granddad reaches into his overall bib pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
Grandson looks on and says "Granddad, can I have one?"
Granddad taken back by the question fumbles for a response and asks "we'll grandson, umm can you dick touch your ass ho...

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Gandhi

Did you know that Gandhi used to have hot young women sleep naked in his bed with him? The idea was that he could conquer his baser desires and prove his self-control by abstaining from sex with them.

I tried a similar thing by leaving half a box of Double Stuff Oreos on my counter, and I gue...

My dental hygienist is so hot

I eat a full box of oreos in the waiting room before having her clean my teeth.

The closest I've ever come to murder is...

Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop.

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A woman goes to the grocery store

A woman goes to the grocery store. It's a regular Saturday afternoon. At the end of the shopping she goes to the cashier.

She puts following items on the conveyor belt: pepper, cucumber, salami, ham, cheese and Oreos.

The cashier scanns the items and asks: "madam, are you single?".
...

What's was the cookies favorite band?

OREO Speedwagon...

(I heard it from a friend, who heard it from a friend...)

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My favorite Halloween joke

So a black man and his wife were invited to a halloween costume party. The man being a very busy person when it came to work tells his wife "Look I need you to buy me a costume for the party since I'm busy with work." She agrees and he goes off to work as usual.

He comes home that night and ...

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The Costume Party

A couple is excited about a costume party they have just been invited to. The husband, who is black, asked his wife to just pick up a costume for him since he’ll be too busy at work to get one himself. She excitedly agrees.

The next day, he comes home and finds a Batman suit waiting for h...

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An 18 year old kid spends his first day in prison.. [NSFW]

He ends up getting a bunk mate whose an older guy, and been inside for while. This older guy has access to lots of goodies such as oreos and cup of noodles etc.. In prison that is basically its own form of currency. The old man can tell the kid is scared and tells him
"I'll tell you what kid I'l...

What's Morris Day's favorite version of Android?

Oh-re-Oreo.

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Bad Lil' Johnny's Fishing Trip with His Grandpa... [Explicit]

Bad Lil' Johnny headed out on the water with his Grandpa for a day of fishing. After awhile of fishing, Grandpa got thirsty so he pulled out a beer and began to drink. Bad Lil' Johnny became curious never having tasted beer before and asked if he could have a sip of Grandpa's beer. Grandpa replie...

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Go to the car wash after driving in the mud and no one bats an eye....

Go to the dentist right after eating oreos, and suddenly you're an asshole?

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Halloween office party.

Early morning a black man tells his white wife that his work office is having a Halloween party in a couple of days.

The husband asks his wife to go to the store and get a costume for him to wear.

When he comes home that night he goes to the bedroom and laid out on the bed is a Super...

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A Boy and His Grandfather.

A young boy is visiting his grandfather one day and sees him smoking a large cigar.
The boy asks "Can I have a puff of that cigar, Grandpa?"
In return the blunt grandfather asks "Can your dick touch your ass, son?"
"No sir"
"Then no cigar for you."
The next day, the boy sees his gran...

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