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Andreas Jokes

A massive earthquake hit California due to the San Andreas line opening up and destroying everything

No foreign aid was granted because according to the UN
"It was their own damn fault"

They caught me throwing presents into the San Andreas.

But I’ve always been generous to a fault.

I just gave all my life savings to the San Andreas foundation.

You might say I’m generous to a fault.

"San Andreas" starring The Rock is a great movie but it could never be perfect...

Because there is one enormous fault

I watched the movie San Andreas today and I really enjoyed it

Despite its faults.

Every night, my whole life, I'd prayed to the saints to keep my family and home safe.

Which is why when my house was destroyed in an earthquake my faith was shook. The saints must have been distracted by something that day. I don't want to point the finger at anyone in particular, but I can't help feeling it must have been San Andreas' fault.

California hasn't fallen into the sea, so apparently it worked.

Back in the 1970's there was a cult in California who believed that they could save California by appeasing the San Andreas. There were parts of San Andreas that literally gaped open wide, and members of the cult were noted for throwing all their earthly possessions down into the amazingly deep crac...

The Hotel California was destroyed last night and they’re looking for the suspect.

Evidence is pointing that its San Andreas’ fault

The billionaire and the architect

Los Angeles has always been a place for these massive feats of human accomplishment. Case in point, in 1989, a local billionaire spent millions of his own money to create a unique building of fantastic architecture, one that would draw people in for thousands of miles. He hired a small time architec...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Am I too late for a Belgian joke?

It's World War I, now 100 years ago. A Belgian unit is hidden in it's trenches about 50m of German soldiers in theirs. After weeks of heavy shootings and minor progressions the Belgian colonel comes up with an idea. He says: "Guys, I've got a plan. Watch me!" and he takes position. He raises his voi...

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