Colin Jokes

Colin was bragging to his friend, Laura, one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”

Tired of his boasting, Laura called his bluff, “OK, Colin how about Tom Cruise?” “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.”

So Co... read more

That honor belongs to Tonya Harding.

when he asked her "I must say, you run a real tight ship over here, would you mind telling me some of your secrets or advice?".

The queen said "sure, its quite simple, I surround myself with smart people, for example, watch this". She then calls upon Tony Blair. "Tony, I have a simple questio... read more

So she’s spend more time on her knees




Credit: Adam Hunter

Cause I got a feeling I'm gonna see you on one or more knees tonight.

And when I asked him who came after that he said "Colin Thecond".

[PERSON] who's there

Colin

[PERSON] Colin who?

Colonization, just kidding, colonizers don't knock before coming in

Our top story today: Convicted hitman Jimmy 'TwoShoes' McClardy confessed today that he was once paid to beat a cow to death in a rice field using only two small porcelain figures.
Police admit this might be the only case of a knickknack paddywhack.

They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her pants, and he gets down on his knees. It’s so dark he can't see anything so he gets out his lighter. He lights his lighter, and he says, "My God, your pubic hair... it's so curly and thick... it's BEAUTIFUL."

She says, "Thank you." He says, "You m... read more

He’s landed some acting roles but he can’t do stand-up.

Famous Irish hit-man Jimmy "Two Shoes" McClardy was arrested today, and confessed to the crime of beating a cow to death in a rice field, using only two small porcilean dolls. The police admit, this may be the first recorded instance of a knick knack paddy whack...

He never had the opportunity to kneel during games

And there's 5 people in my family so one of them must be Chinese

I know I'm not Chinese, and I'm pretty sure my parents aren't Chinese so that leaves my 2 brothers

Colin and Chong Lin

I think it's Colin

Apparently he felt like he was making a Mochrie of himself.

##

Now he's Coleen.

"Hi, I'm Bernie the burglar."

"Right. I'm Colin the police."

And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

I’m pretty sure Anne Hathaway, but I’m going to ask Colin Firth.

Fill Colins! I can feel it humming in my ear tonight

Inspired by Colin Mochrie's 6:00 News on Who's Line, I tried to come up with my own.

We now return you to your 6:00 news. I'm your host, Armand Dangerous. Earlier today, a man who lost a digit to his foot after a grievous skiing accident underwent a groundbreaking surgery where he requested t... read more

Confessed today that he was once hired to beat a cow to death in a rice field using on two small porcelain figures. Police admit this may be the first know case of a knick knack paddy whack.







Credit: This was a Colin Mochrie joke from an early Who's Line is it Any Way e... read more

Amy Schumer has said she won't do any Super Bowl commercials this year in support of Colin Kapernic.

Thank God! Maybe this years Super Bowl commericals will be funny.

The doctors have confirmed that the reindeer in Spain were hit mainly by the plane.

- Credit to Colin Monchrie from "Whose Line Is It Anyway"

They have an eggs Benedict dish that they service on car hub caps - it’s called “there’s no plates like chrome for the hollandaise”

Credit to Colin Mochrie.

Cleveland Browns, 3

>Credit to Colin Mochrie from *Whose Line Is It Anyway?*

Colin.

The reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane

(Courtesy of Colin Mochrie)