Mar Jokes

Space x.

Because if he chose SpaceY he’d land on 14 year old boys.

...And they're friendly! The leaders of the world and the aliens plan a huge televised event where the leaders can ask questions on whatever they want.

During this event, the pope is up to talk to the aliens.

"I know this question may sound odd to you gentlemen," the pope starts to ask... read more

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million dollars. "I want to give a million to my family", ... read more

Pope: "Do you know Jesus?"

Alien: "Oh, Jesus. Great guy. He comes to our planet twice every year."


Pope: "Every year?! It's about two millennia and we're still waiting for his second coming."

Alien: "Maybe he didn't like your chocolate."

Pope: "Chocolate?"

A... read more

NASA: I'm coming!

A live cat was found roaming the surface of Mars. Scientists planned to have the Mars Rover capture the animal to study it but unfortunately while attempting to capture the feline, Curiosity killed the cat.

Turns out, the planet was once occupied by Nestle

Elon's Mosque

### "It's a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind," says the ground control officer and cuts off all communications.

The bartender said, "Hey - you two should write a book!"

Curiosity killed them all

Mars: Come over

NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away

Mars: I'm wet

NASA: I'm coming over

But for like a couple of weeks tops.
There's very little nutritional value and the sugar will destroy my teeth

He is going to make it the true red planet.

They are free to leave the dome whenever they wish.

Monkeys were an obvious choice, but they had no patience. Mice chewed all the cables, dogs were too stupid and chickens were always scared. It seemed the only animal that could cope with the intense stress of space travel was a chilled out alley cat.

After a few months of testing and training... read more

However, only eating chocolate has taken a toll on my health

It seems that it has received signals from 'Hot MILFs in it's area'

Now it's coated in Rust.

Unfortunately, Curiosity killed the cat.

Don’t believe me? Just watch!

Apartment!

Mars-1


Africa-0

She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars.

After an almost succesful retrieval of the Mars rover, upon re-entry, the rover overheated and exploded. Debrus landed in an urban environment. There was one casualty.

Curiosity killed the cat

He was just Putin them somewhere safe.

Great food, horrible atmosphere.

A NASA scientist walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How's work going?" the bartender asks. "It's frustrating. We've been studying the planet Mars and trying to figure out how it went from having a warm and wet habitat to a cold and dry one," the scientist says. "So far, we don't have an answ... read more

I think we can all agree that he is the most creative serial killer of all time.

Must be true what they say about Curiosity.

However, before they could get any more info, Curiosity killed the cat.

So that when men arrive, dinner would be ready.

Just send my pops up there to golf.

That will be his last resort

A lotta red dirt and no signs of intelligent life.

Sounds like a great idea, until all the Martians start dying from carbon monoxide poisoning.

Looks like Curiosity kiiled the cat.

Because they live a World apart.

Tell America there's oil there.

They are discussing the possibility of there being water on Mars. Things are getting heated.

The first golfer says, "There's definitely water on Mars!" He proceeds to rattle off information from NASA and recent observations from the Mars rover.

The second golfer exclaims, "That's BS. T... read more

I bet California is pretty jealous.

If you look at the studies, 100% of deaths occur here on earth.

24 carrot magic

All that hot air would make it habitible quickly!

Nothing really, but it does have a bit of an Elon Musk to it.

After years of work and billions of dollars, we can send a single astronaut to Mars and back. Jimmy is chosen to go on the mission with zero possibility of communication until he returns 10 years later. With a huge celebration, the shuttle takes off and the wait begins. After 10 years, Jimmy returns... read more

but sadly Curiosity killed the cat, rendering the experiment futile.

…about 300 students are writing away in their blue books and the professor warns two minutes til pencils down. Then one minute. Then he calls out that the exam is over, please stop writing.

As the body of students slowly lines up to turn in their exams, one student keeps writing. The professo... read more

is such a first world problem.

Is Nestle already planning its own space program?

It's about time we play red rover with another planet

Yeah, apparently Curiosity kills cats

There is way too many good puns for it to be a missed opportunity.

A program decades in the making, a feat of engineering never before accomplished. Not only did they include high resolution cameras for the landing, but incredibly robust microphones to capture the first sounds from an alien planet.

The team of people were huddled around a lab station for hou... read more

The new Space Force has finally arrived at mars, and an exploration ship has been investigating the snow and ice covered North Pole area.

A field biologist excitedly rushes in to his general, and exclaims, “Sir, incredible news! We have discovered a strange, silicon-based form of life in the... read more

They said it lacked atmosphere.

As I predicted, it has found a McDonalds with a drive-thru lane, and a Walmart Supercenter.

It has also started receiving calls from telemarketers.

Sadly it'll only be 0.4g.

It is his Sol endeavor.

A Cinnamon M&M Synonym

ola

It was meant to last 90 days but here I am 14 years later

We’re in a interspacial relationship.

I'd better get my Nickelback or there'll Panic! At The Disco.

I guess you could say that they're infertile.

Because he has no nuts.

A few CVS receipts away

In a few years India will send a cat to Mars to check out if it is possible to survive in that environment.

After some adaptation the cat starts roaming around on Mars.

All is well until one fine day suddenly the cat is mashed under a vehicle of sorts.

Everyone is wondering w... read more

Humans^* are finally going to Mars

^* US Army

America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars as the country watched with pride. Iran, wanting to gain a technological/global edge, decided to show up America by announcing a manned mission to the sun the very next day. The Americans, along with other western allies, decided to meet with the Iranian... read more

Martian officials say borders closed until CoronaVirus is under control.

His response? "Maybe it doesn't know the words."

He paid for them with Frequent Liar miles.

(Thanks, father in law)

But they failed because nobody knew how to planet

They planet.

My five year old told me this today.

Because there's no longer any Opportunity there.