Mar Jokes

The bartender said, "Hey - you two should write a book!"

### "It's a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind," says the ground control officer and cuts off all communications.

Now it's coated in Rust.

He is going to make it the true red planet.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million dollars. "I want to give a million to my family", ... read more

Don’t believe me? Just watch!

He was just Putin them somewhere safe.

However, only eating chocolate has taken a toll on my health

Space x.

Because her/she was trademarked.

Turns out, the planet was once occupied by Nestle

Mars-1


Africa-0

Because if he chose SpaceY he’d land on 14 year old boys.

That will be his last resort

Curiosity killed them all

It's called H 2.0

I think we can all agree that he is the most creative serial killer of all time.

Pope: "Do you know Jesus?"

Alien: "Oh, Jesus. Great guy. He comes to our planet twice every year."


Pope: "Every year?! It's about two millennia and we're still waiting for his second coming."

Alien: "Maybe he didn't like your chocolate."

Pope: "Chocolate?"

A... read more

Apartment!

Just send my pops up there to golf.

Must be true what they say about Curiosity.

If you look at the studies, 100% of deaths occur here on earth.

It seems that it has received signals from 'Hot MILFs in it's area'

A program decades in the making, a feat of engineering never before accomplished. Not only did they include high resolution cameras for the landing, but incredibly robust microphones to capture the first sounds from an alien planet.

The team of people were huddled around a lab station for hou... read more

A NASA scientist walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How's work going?" the bartender asks. "It's frustrating. We've been studying the planet Mars and trying to figure out how it went from having a warm and wet habitat to a cold and dry one," the scientist says. "So far, we don't have an answ... read more

So that when men arrive, dinner would be ready.

Just like the Mars Polar Lander did on Mars.

"Oh." said the counselor. "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."

Elon's Mosque

A live cat was found roaming the surface of Mars. Scientists planned to have the Mars Rover capture the animal to study it but unfortunately while attempting to capture the feline, Curiosity killed the cat.

NASA: I'm coming!

All that hot air would make it habitible quickly!

...And they're friendly! The leaders of the world and the aliens plan a huge televised event where the leaders can ask questions on whatever they want.

During this event, the pope is up to talk to the aliens.

"I know this question may sound odd to you gentlemen," the pope starts to ask... read more

Not what she meant, am now single.

A lotta red dirt and no signs of intelligent life.

They planet

but sadly Curiosity killed the cat, rendering the experiment futile.

They are free to leave the dome whenever they wish.

Sounds like a great idea, until all the Martians start dying from carbon monoxide poisoning.

My guess is 5-10 years of marriage.

Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening.

"Aye, so I have. 'Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints.... read more

Unfortunately, Curiosity killed the cat.

It is his Sol endeavor.

As I predicted, it has found a McDonalds with a drive-thru lane, and a Walmart Supercenter.

It has also started receiving calls from telemarketers.

Yeah, apparently Curiosity kills cats

However, before they could get any more info, Curiosity killed the cat.

is such a first world problem.

Mars: Come over

NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away

Mars: I'm wet

NASA: I'm coming over

His response? "Maybe it doesn't know the words."

He paid for them with Frequent Liar miles.

(Thanks, father in law)

A Cinnamon M&M Synonym

Because they live a World apart.

Great food, horrible atmosphere.

There is way too many good puns for it to be a missed opportunity.

Tell America there's oil there.

They said it lacked atmosphere.

Looks like Curiosity kiiled the cat.

I've heard Mars has no atmosphere, can we create an atmosphere by dimming the lights and playing smooth jazz?

24 carrot magic

A young, attractive first-year teacher was standing at the front of her class presenting a lesson to her fifth graders when she noticed Mikey wasn't paying attention. In an effort to engage him, she called on him and asked him a simple math question, "If there are three rabbits in the yard and you s... read more

That means I am not fat, I just live on the wrong planet..

This way when the males get there dinner will be ready

Is Nestle already planning its own space program?

Mars bars.

Nothing really, but it does have a bit of an Elon Musk to it.

I'd better get my Nickelback or there'll Panic! At The Disco.

...but curiosity killed it.

I bet California is pretty jealous.

Otherwise we’ll miss a hell of an Opportunity.

Planet of the Apps.

Curiosity killed the cat.

Turns out Curiosity did kill the cat.

But they failed because nobody knew how to planet

Everyone is spending millions of dollars on it and sending things over to mars just to see if its wet.

“Pardon me.”

But since everyone is pressing F to pay respect it just means that it's a missed oppertunity

I can already see the headlines...
"Colonist discovers water on Mars!"

They decide to play volleyball, Democrats vs Republicans. As they walk to the court, Bush asks Trump, "I gotta ask, why didn't you release your tax returns?" Trump replied, "Well, I was going to eventually, but as the public became more demanding I felt like caving in to that kind of pressure would ... read more

We’re in a interspacial relationship.

Because there's no longer any Opportunity there.

The new Space Force has finally arrived at mars, and an exploration ship has been investigating the snow and ice covered North Pole area.

A field biologist excitedly rushes in to his general, and exclaims, “Sir, incredible news! We have discovered a strange, silicon-based form of life in the... read more

Thanks POTUS.

Three astronauts are sitting at a table,one from the us,one from russia,and one from Poland. The us astronaut says were going to Mars. The russian says we made it to the moon. The pole says were going to the sun. The other two astronauts say you cant land on the sun,you'll burn. Theres nothing to la... read more